2. I love my kids all the time, every day, every hour--they are my chosen 'career' choice, if you will, and I don't regret it. However, there are times I don't like them very much and I begin to think about running away to a hippie colony in CA, and calling myself Lavender Sunshine Moonbeam. In fact, as a mom, I've dreamt of running away more often than I ever did as a child. One night I almost did, but I couldn't find my other shoe. Thankfully, we laugh about that now ("Hey Mom, remember that time you accused Dad of stealing your shoe so you couldn't run away?").... Nothing, and I do mean nothing, in life, has frustrated me more than being a mom. But, nothing else in life has rewarded me as much as motherhood, either.
3. Avery is a non-stop talker. From the second he's up, to literally falling asleep mid-sentence when we put him to bed. He's also recently begun talking in his sleep. There are days I can handle it, days it makes my head spin, and other days I just cry.
4. This time last year, I was hoping to be pregnant with Child #3 by now. Truthfully, we haven't even tried yet. We've talked about it plenty, but we're both on the fence; my health, and raising the two we already have, continue to be huge issues.
5. Six and a half days out of seven, I suck at motherhood. I fail miserably. I keep hoping the few times I get it right will make up for all the other times I get it so terribly wrong.
6. Knowing that we had no control over the age difference between Avery and Noah, I still believe that if we'd been able to have Avery sooner, we might have noticed and acted upon Noah's differences earlier. There is a lot of guilt for not recognizing everything with Noah earlier than we did, and we often wonder how much we contributed to his difficulties.
7. My kids are the reason I started teaching myself how to bake and cook properly. I wanted better, healthier alternatives for them (and they still prefer corn dogs and chicken nuggets...).
8. I've learned more from Noah than I could ever hope to teach him. He's an amazing kid.
9. Sometimes I have panic attacks when I stop to think about everything I'm trying to teach Noah that he isn't quite 'getting.' We actually kind of hit a wall a few weeks ago, as parents, worrying about his future, and wondering what kind of provisions we need to make for him as an adult. Noah is perfectly capable of many great things, but sometimes the drive just isn't there.
10. My kids are dorks, but they're my dorks. And I strive every day to be the kind of mom they deserve. They're pretty awesome, and they deserve awesome in return. There are more days than I care to count when we all miss the mark horribly.
11. I really do believe it takes a village to raise children. I tried doing it by myself with Noah his first few years, and not only did I really mess up, but I nearly broke both of us. I'm always grateful for our good friends, teachers, professionals, and everyone else we've been provided with. I can't do it without them. With Noah, I couldn't quite grasp the concept of handing my child over to someone else: "This is my crying baby to deal with." With Avery: "Sure! You want him? Here he is!"
12. Noah likes having his ear lobe rubbed, and his cheek caressed ("Counterclockwise, Mom!"). Those are my love languages with him. He will often plop himself beside me, and place my hand on his cheek or ear lobe. Sometimes, if we're in public and he starts getting antsy, I'll reach over and start rubbing his ear lobe. His instant reaction always makes me laugh. With Avery, we sniff ears (another story for another time), and squeeze each other's hands when we're holding them.
13. I'm a Type A-er, I have OCD, I plan everything to a T, and I have serious control issues. I learned right off the bat, beginning with Noah's conception, that none of that works in motherhood. It wasn't until Avery that I finally figured out how to loosen up a bit more though. With Avery, I've also learned to learn more, if that makes sense--I've relaxed (but only a little...), learned how to take advice, and learned how to follow my child's lead, rather than trying to make them fit my molds of how/who/what they should be.
14. My kids have chores. Yes, even Avery. Why? Because I want them to learn how to be responsible adults who can take care of themselves.
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