God's Goodness

Yesterday was an emotional day.  The grief center I volunteer with has published a book of stories.  These stories are sacred, dear and special.  They are stories of grief, emotional and physical pain, illness, and, most importantly, the journeys toward healing.  They are stories of hope, faith and deep love, God's love. They are stories of utter despair, and complete restoration.  My story is one of them.  It's not my whole story, but it is part of my story of how the grief center impacted my life.  It's a story from my volunteer perspective, rather than my perspective as a client.

We had a book signing at the center, and I was able to see people I haven't seen in years.  We joked that it felt like a high school year book signing, but it was really kind of like a small reunion.  Last time I saw many of these people, I was using a walker.  On a good day, I might've had a cane.  I was severely impaired.  I could barely stand, and walking was a major issue.  I was swollen from steroids, immunosuppressants and chemo; sadly, I was also usually high from antidepressants and narcotics that did little to mask the emotional and physical pain I was feeling.  I was on more meds than we could count, and I counted my doctors with two hands.  I was miserable, and it showed.  I made my family miserable, and that showed also.  It's not a time in my life that I'm proud of.  Much of the time, I would just rather forget it.

Yesterday, instead of the walker and meds, I had two more children.  It was a good feeling.  It was fun to see so many people, and it was as much fun to be an example of God's goodness and faithfulness.  It was redeeming.  Yesterday, they were able to see a child thriving (Noah), a marriage restored, and a woman really living for the first time in years.  They saw living proof of God's grace, mercy and healing.

Some call it remission.  Of what, we're still not entirely sure.  It's had many names over the years, and many theories.  So, if they need to call it remission, that's fine by me.  As for me, my family, our friends and loved ones.... We call it God.