Choosing Gratitude and Joy: More of You, Father!

For Easter Sunday, our church is doing 'cardboard testimonies.'  On one side of the posterboard is the struggle, then on the other side is how God overcame it.  Everything from drug addiction and near divorce, to illness and job loss, to name a few, have graced our pulpit in years past.  God is so good!

While I've thought of a few testimonies (perhaps inappropriate...  Noah:  "The doctors said "Asperger's," God said, "Suck it.") our family could give, Shawn and I have decided to sit this one out unless specifically asked.  We've given several testimonies in our church, and not only are we sure our church family is getting tired of it, but it's someone else's turn to share their miracles.

This really caused some major reflection for me, though.  There is so much for our family to be grateful for and rejoice in!  Wow!  God has provided so much for our family:  Improved health, three children, job security for Shawn, a better living situation, healing for Ezra's heart, healing from past hurts for myself and Shawn, overcoming Asperger's for Noah--I could keep going!  And I'm so grateful for that!  We have been gifted with just so much to thank God for, each and every minute.

Most of all, God provided His one and only Son, not just for me and my family, but for you and yours, also.  He loves us SO MUCH, that He provided His child--His CHILD--as a sacrifice to save us from ourselves, from our own sins.  Part of me thinks, "What kind of parent does that?  I would never do that!"  The other part of me thinks, "How tremendous His love for all of us, His many other children, is for us.  And how tremendous is Jesus' love for us that He was willing to fulfill the prophecy?"  Just amazing.  Daily, I'm blown away by the gravity of that.  Every day, we are given new life, grace, mercy and forgiveness.  Every day, we are given a chance at a do-over.  Every day, our Father loves us, no matter how rotten we are. We don't have to do anything to earn it, it's just there.  His love for us, His compassion and acceptance for us--it's all freely given.  All He wants in return is all of us, all of ourselves.  We seldom deserve it, but there it is, anyway, just for us, because He loves us.

So with that thought, I will choose gratitude and joy.  Thank you, Father.

Being a Strong Woman

I've often been accused of being too sensitive, overly sensitive and just plain thin skinned. I was made to feel weak.  Yes, I wear my heart on my sleeve.  I feel deeply, on every level, with every emotion.  When my friends hurt, I hurt.  When my kids and husband hurt, I hurt even more.  When I hear of a stranger's despair, I hurt.  I get angry reading the news. I rejoice in the joy of others, whether I know them or not.  Books, praise and worship music, music in general, conversations, tv shows, movies, commercials, prayer--all have similar affects on me.  I often am driven to tears and laughter over things that don't personally impact my life, but still impact my emotions.  I am human.

This used to embarrass me tremendously.  I thought something was wrong with me.  Surely, I just needed to toughen up.  I have realized however, I do not want that kind of hardness in my heart.  I don't want it in my life.  I don't want it to be a part of me.  I've learned that being hard hearted is not the same as being stoic and strong. This sensitivity is who I am, and it's how God created me.  I want my sons to know it's okay to feel what they're feeling, and I need to set that example, as well as how to properly handle what they feel, especially when we have no control over the situation.  I want my children to embrace how God created them, and in that, I'm embracing how He made me.

I heard this quote on the radio the other day, and I realized, yes, I'm sensitive, but that doesn't mean I'm weak.  So, a reminder to all the other sensitive women out there:  You are strong, and you are a gift, Beloved.

"A strong woman is one who feels deeply and loves fiercely.  Her tears flow just as abundantly as her laughter...

A strong woman is both soft and powerful.  She is both practical and spiritual...

A strong woman in her essence is a gift to the world."

To strong, sensitive women everywhere:  May we be them, may we know them, may we encourage them and raise them, and may we raise our sons to be men who will do the same.