To the Adorable Little Girl in Target

I've had a rough time lately.  I haven't felt the Christmas spirit, and I've struggled.  December is usually a tough month for me anyway; I told myself this year would be different--but a few things have happened, and I've allowed them to drag me down.  I haven't dealt with them as well as I thought I would, or had.  It's unfortunate.  I'm tough on myself when this happens, because I have so much to be thankful for.  I live an amazing life, but there's one little glitch in my brain that makes things more difficult sometimes.

This time of year I start thinking about the gifts we can't wrap.  I think about my grown up Christmas list, all the many things other people need, but sadly are unable to provide for themselves or their families.  I think of all the things I want that cannot be put under any tree.  Occasionally I obsess a little (too much) on it.  I get melancholy, or, as Noah puts it, somber.

So, instead of having a home that's warmly decorated, I have a tree that's up and sort of halfway sort of decorated, a yard that's decorated (thanks to Noah), and 8 boxes or decorated scattered around the house that I'm constantly tripping over.

I've done a lot of 'faking it' for Avery's sake, or tried to at least.  Noah can see through it, and Shawn knows the truth.

So, maybe that helps you understand why you, dear child--you have no idea the gift you gave me the other night.  I came across you and your parents at the lights in the Christmas section; I motioned to your mom that I would steer my cart around behind the three of you because the look on your face was priceless as your dad carefully explained all the different kinds of lights to you, I just didn't want to break the spell.  You were in complete awe!!!  You happened to look over at me anyway, a huge, beautiful, happy grin on your face.  Your smile was catching, and I said to you, "There's magic in those lights, isn't there?!"  You nodded, jumping up and down, clapping your little hands and shouting, "YES!  YES!"

Sweet girl, my prayer is this:  That you will continue to share that light in your smile with others.  That the world does not jade you in any way.  I pray your parents continue to foster this awe in you, and continue the patiences they demonstrated, explaining each light to you.  I pray you only ever know love and security.  And I pray that someday, somehow, you know just how exactly how much your smile meant to me, and much it brightened my evening.