Greed

I've let you in on my guilty pleasure before... No, not that one. 😉  The one about reading advice columns.

The letters are like little soap operas.  Some of them have me reaching for tissues, offering up sympathy and empathy for the letter writers.  Others have me yelling, "OH FOR PETE'S SAKE!"  Most of the time, I side with the advice the columnist offers.  Sometimes, I'm not sure she's harsh enough, though.  I think most of the letter writers already know the answers to their questions, they just need that extra little push to finish drawing their conclusions.

Still, others appear completely clueless.

One of the things that really draws my ire in these columns are the selfish, self-righteous, entitled greedy letter writers ("Tell us how you really feel, Amy....").  These are the people who want validation to feel slighted for not receiving wedding gifts from guests, for being written out of the family will, or not receiving as much as Family Member A did for graduation.  They want justification for their anger at the friend who didn't attend their child's birthday party, but came over for coffee a few days later, and *gasp*,  showed up without a gift for the child.

The list goes on, and truly, I am just as baffled by their behavior as they seem to be by the ones they write in about.  I do not understand their indignation, and I'm embarrassed, and terribly sad, for them.   I don't know what happens to people in this world to cause them to keep score and count gifts and inheritances and attendances--and to feel so righteous in doing so.  In getting so caught up in these things, they are missing out on the best parts of life! They miss the joy in the wedding or the birthday or milestone.  They also miss out on the point to the life lost, and the purpose to grief.  They will lose friends, and alienate family members, and in the end, live lonely, superficial lives.  They are so busy being angry that their piece of cake is always smaller than everyone else's that they are not capable of happiness.  That is no way to live!  Oh my gosh, cake is cake!  Especially if it's chocolate.

If I were to read one of those letters written by one of my children, I would be embarrassed, angry with myself, and deeply ashamed of my failure as his mom.  Shawn and I are doing our best to raise our children as servants of Christ; we try to do our best to do for others in love, not expecting anything in return.  No one in this world owes us anything, nor are we entitled to anything.  My hope for my children is they will treat others with compassion and empathy, not superficiality and expectation.  I do not want my children to miss out on the best parts of life because they are too busy keeping score, and I want my children to be happy!  To be blunt, we don't want to raise doormats, but we also do not want to raise selfish brats either.  As a reformed selfish brat, I will tell you--I will not raise selfish brats.  There is a healthy balance. We are battling worldly ways, as well as naturally childish ways, so our task is not always an easy one, but it is a worthy one.