My Personal Theory, Why I Have Sons

Surprisingly (or not, if you know me well enough), I've given this topic a lot of thought.  Over twelve years of deep thought.  And I've finally arrived at a satisfactory conclusion:  I have sons (rather than daughters), because I'm supposed to teach them how to be proper husbands and daddies.

A-ha!  Gotcha--bet you were thinking to yourself, "Wow, that's the shortest blog she's ever written!"  Sorry.  I'm not finished yet!

When I found out I was pregnant with Noah, my first thought was, "Dear God, please let this child be a girl, I have no idea what I'll do with a boy."  There were a lot of stressors throughout Noah's pregnancy,  the least of them being that he was a bit of a surprise.  I thought for sure if I had a girl, I just might be able to get a slight grip on motherhood.  We went in for our first sonogram, and lo and behold, there were boy parts up on the screen.  I even argued with the tech, telling her in no uncertain terms that she sucked at her job because it was obvious to me that was an umbilical cord.  Then I wanted her to double check and make sure she'd taken down the previous client's screen.  Then I wanted her to double check my child and my screen.  Then I wanted it confirmed by the doctor.  To say Shawn drove home with a shellshocked Amy in the passenger seat, mumbling, "What am I going to do with this BOY?" the entire way would be an understatement.

When we were finally pregnant with Avery, I remember telling Shawn that this time I was certain we were having a girl!  God wouldn't give us TWO boys!  And again...  We both walked out of the clinic a little shellshocked that time after seeing boy parts on the screen.  Another BOY???  What am I going to do with TWO BOYS????

Well, I'll tell you what I'm doing with them--I'm loving them, teaching them, raising them up in the way of the Lord, caring about them, and caring for them.  I play with them, I laugh with them, I live with them, and I cherish them.  They are my gifts.  That's not to say we always get along, or they always love what I'm teaching them, but we are making work for us.  And now, I could never even begin to imagine life without them.  I don't want to imagine life without them.  And really, I'm not sure I can imagine raising a daughter!  I love these boys more than life itself, and the things they bring to my life are innumerable, and immeasurable.  Along with teaching them, there are the countless things they teach me about myself, about life, and about themselves.

I've shared a bit of my past with my father before.  I wanted to be cherished, I wanted to be loved, I wanted--needed--to be Daddy's Little Princess--but I wasn't.  I tried lying to myself, and others, for a long time that I was; I made excuses for my father, but the truth is that he was never emotionally available, and there was never a connection, nor the real relationship I craved and needed.

This is where it becomes about my grandchildren and my future daughters-in-law.  I love them already without even knowing who they are, and I want my sons to do the same.  I want them to treat their wives and children the way their dad, my husband, treats me, and the way I treat them.  I want them to understand respect and love, the need for relationships, attention, and playtime, the need to be brothers now so they can be great brothers, dads, husbands and uncles later.

This is why God gave me sons rather than daughters....  So I can help raise up a new, better generation of husbands and daddies.

(And you never know, there's still a chance Shawn will get his little princess, if it's God's will--I haven't given up hope yet!)