Thank You

AN OPEN LETTER TO THE WOMAN WHO PAID FOR MY COFFEE THIS MORNING:

I followed you for a bit, hoping to get a chance to pull up next to you at the stoplight, or maybe in a parking lot, just to say THANK YOU.  When you paid for my coffee this morning, you helped make my morning a little easier.  You really don't quite understand the kindness you did for me.

You see, after weeks of agonizing over it, and knowing it was time, I was taking my 18 year old cat, Sophie, to the vet for the last time after I dropped my toddler at preschool.  Making the decision was not easy, and the drive into town this morning was the longest one since taking our dog for the same visit back in September.  I'm not supposed to have Starbucks anymore, but I really needed something to help steel myself against the coming moments.

Sophie and I have been together since college--eighteen long years--and I can't imagine what the days ahead will be like without her.  I miss her already.  She will always be Mommy's Sweet Pookie, I will always remember how she used to try to steal my roast beef sandwiches, and growled whenever I fed her canned chicken.  It will be odd not going into the sunroom first thing each morning to check on her, and make sure the night was kind to her, and checking each night to make sure she was tucked in and comfortable.  It will be weird not checking baskets and bags for her as I pass by them, watching her try to stuff herself into the smallest baskets imaginable, and getting in Noah's face while we eat dinner.  The past few months have been hard for her, with seizures and convulsions, sinus infections and bloody noses, and even a bit of what we realized was kitty dementia.  Knowing how vibrant, playful and loving Sophie was as a kitten, it's been hard to watch her grow old and stop taking care of herself.

I knew it was time for me to make sure Sophie no longer suffered, that she have some dignity, and for me to be merciful to the cat who has given me so much.

I was impatient while I sat behind you in my car, wanting to just get the day over with.  I'm sorry for that.  I knew I was in for a long day, and I just didn't have the patience for anything or anyone this morning.  Thank you for reminding me that it's not always about me, and thank you for making my morning a little easier.