Motherhood as a Ministry

I did not enter into motherhood with grace and ease.  Rather, I entered into it kicking and screaming, completely questioning God's chosen path for me.  Surely He'd made a mistake!  At the time, I knew I was doing it all wrong, but as I watched other mothers of  children Noah's age, I couldn't quite put my finger on what they were doing all right.

I have since eased up on myself.  There are times I still question God's judgement here, but I know now that motherhood was always my path.  I still struggle with it (who doesn't), but I know this is where I'm meant to be at this moment in time.  Motherhood is hard, but I've learned it is not because of what I'm doing wrong, it is simply the nature of the beast. I have learned a multitude of lessons in the past almost 14 years, after all, motherhood is on-the-job-training!

At this point in my parenting life, the benefits are constantly outweighing anything else.  I have learned to relax, I have learned to let go of my quest for perfectionism (okay, so I'm still working on that one), I have learned to correct mistakes and apologize for those mistakes, and, perhaps most importantly, I have learned I am not alone in this.  There are plenty of other moms going through exactly what I am, including the days I don't roll out of bed immediately prepared to 'mom.'  I have built a network of support, and if I am alone, it is because of my own hand.

One other thing I'm learning is that I really do have great kids.  It's humorous to me when people apologize upon finding out I have a teenager--but really, he's a great kid!  Having great kids certainly makes things easier too!

Occasionally I go through a "I haven't done anything with my life" phase, and I think--I should have a  job!  I should go back to school!  I should have a career!  I'm missing out!  l should have a passion!  I should have a purpose!  When will it be MY time, MY turn???

And I realize...  Motherhood isn't about me.  It's about them, my children.  This is their time, their turn--and I need to be home for them.  They need me, and I need them.  I need to know I'm doing everything I can to raise them up, to encourage them, to cheer them on, to teach them to fail, so I can then teach them how to come back from failure.  This IS my career. They ARE my purpose. And I have done a lot with my life--I am raising up to God-praising gentlemen who know they come first in my life, and will know how to do the same for their children.

It is incredible to me how many don't see motherhood as a calling, or a career, or as anything more than herding cats.  With Avery entering kindergarten in the fall, I've already been asked many times if I will get a job.  I reply, "I already have one."  So they ask, "No, a real job." And I reply, "I.  ALREADY.  HAVE.  ONE."  Seriously, Avery entering school does not mean my children will need me any less.  In fact, with Noah entering in the life of teenage-dom, I think he will need me even more!  I need to be available to my kids, and they need to know I'm available to them.

Recently, I was truly convicted in this new mindset of motherhood as a ministry, rather than a battlefield or inconvenience or hassle.  Last fall I resigned from my position where I was volunteering--the only thing at the time that identified me as something other than a mom and a wife--because I realized even that short time I spent in preparation for it each week was taking away from my kids.  I couldn't do both well, I couldn't give time to both my home life and my volunteer job as they deserved.  This week, a dear friend did the same, resigning from a job she loved and was great at; she said to me, "Amy, I have a child starting high school in the fall and life is just too short."  It's true.  Life is just too short to not stop and be the mom my boys need and deserve.  I have only--ONLY--five more years with Noah before he leaves for college!  Avery is two weeks shy of five and I have no idea how or when that happened!

So, here it is--motherhood is my ministry.  And there is nothing easy about being in ministry--but I will tell you this, it's always, ALWAYS, worth it.  When you put your heart and soul into something and see the results--the struggle, and the growth, are worth it.

Now, who's going to remind me of all of this two weeks into summer break when I'm pulling my hair out?!?!?!