Blog Share

I really wanted to title this one "What's Wrong with Boys" just so I could yell, "NOTHING!  Nothing is wrong with boys" in my opening paragraph.  My intent here is to share a blog post written by another boy mommy, so I won't do that.... Oh, whoops.

If you can't tell, I'm feeling a little defensive again.  About having all boys.  The problem is, I'm not defensive, but I'm allowing other people's comments and opinions to eat at me.  Yesterday I answered the "Oh, another boy? I bet you were hoping for a girl this time, will you try again" question several times.  Seriously people, you gotta stop....  I just might throat punch the next person who brings this up.  There are times I entertain the idea of informing such people that we are quite certain the child we miscarried was our daughter.  That'll shut them up, right?  You're right, probably not.

As I answer with various forms "Actually, we're quite thrilled," "Hey, we asked God for a baby and that's what He's giving us," "A fourth child is really up to God," "After three boys, it really doesn't look like a girl is in the cards for us," all I can think is what if my boys heard this person?  My boys do not need to hear the implications that they are somehow inferior, and less preferred by their own mom, simply because they have penises rather than vaginas.  Hello?

My next question for these people is: Would you ask a mother of three girls if she will try for a fourth simply to have a boy?  The answer to that is no, you wouldn't.  My husband agreed--but said they would not hesitate to ask the dad.  Point taken, but we're talking about moms in this post.

Have I ever thought about having a daughter?  Sure. I argued with the sonogram tech at Noah's first sonogram.  With Avery, I almost did the same thing.  There was a time before we knew E is a boy that my friends and I entertained the idea that I could be the one to introduce the color pink into our fold; I think we all secretly knew he would be a boy, and we were okay with that.  Shawn and I have had her name picked out for over ten years.  I even caught Shawn watching a YouTube video about braiding hair....  But, would any of us, friends included, trade Noah, Avery or E for girls?  Absolutely not.

For me, this goes back to God giving us what we need.  I am delighted to be raising another boy.  I'm getting another child, how could I not be delighted? Being a mom is a privilege, regardless of the child's gender, and I'm grateful I get to do this again.  I hope this is something my boys will always know in their hearts.  There are so very many things I love about having boys, and I wouldn't trade this opportunity to be their mom for anything.

Anyway, back to the point of today's rant post.  That was the day I had yesterday.  This morning, while eating my 3 am cup of yogurt, I came across this post by another boy mommy.  Succinct, to the point, and perfectly put.  I can't thank this mom enough for saying exactly what I'm feeling.

http://www.whattoexpect.com/wom/pregnancy/the-wrong-reason-to-try-for-a-fourth-baby.aspx?iid=mobileapp_blogpost-word-of-mom_

Jamaican My Kid a Missionary

Noah is going to Jamaica, mon!  The Lord has led our brave son into the missionary field.  We could not be more proud!  He will be heading out in July with other students and leaders from his youth group; in the meantime, it is up to Noah to raise the majority of his travel money, a total of $1500.  The students are busy with group fundraisers through our church, but they are also responsible for raising as much as they can individually. This is the chance of a lifetime for Noah, and our family would appreciate any support you could give him, whether it be financially, prayerfully or both.  If you feel called to share this post, please do so!  Repost away!  Thank you!

There are several ways you can make a (tax deductible) donation towards Noah's fund.  You can visit our church's website, write a personal check and mail it to the church, or you can go to Noah's personal GoFundMe site.

1. By going to www.bridge4life.com, click on the onetime gift, click on the Vertical Jamaica Trip (designate Noah as the recipient) -or-
2. Can write a check (designate Noah as the recipient and note that it is to go toward the Vertical Jamaica trip, please): The Bridge Community Church, PO Box 151, Warrenton, VA 20188 -or-
3. Noah's personal GoFundMe Site (there is a $9 fee for using GoFundMe):  

http://www.gofundme.com/Noah-F

Below is the letter the students are distributing to possible donors.  It contains a few more important details!

THANK YOU!

Hindsight

We tried to move about ten years ago.  We were so desperate to move out of this neighborhood, we made a lot of mistakes, jumped the gun, ignored God, and generally screwed ourselves.  We had what we felt was the perfect house built for us, and the market crashed.  We couldn't give the house we live in away.  It all fell apart.  Frustrated, we gave up.

Hindsight is twenty/twenty.  Always.  At the time, we felt betrayed by God.  We wanted to know why we couldn't get out from this mess.  We continued to see the glaring problems, which daily became more problematic.  If it could go wrong with the house, the neighborhood, the school--it felt like it did.  We questioned God.  We railed against Him.  We felt screwed over.  We felt hopeless. Looking back, we really only had ourselves, as well as things beyond our control (the market) to blame, not God.  In the end, God actually saved us.

I mentioned hindsight.  It wasn't until a year or two later we were able to understand why God kept us here.  We've not always been happy about it, but we've been grateful for it. We've watched the community continue it's decline, but we've understood why we are still here.  The friends we've made, the experiences we've had, the things we've learned, the people we've met--if we'd moved, we wouldn't have had any of that.  We now know that original house was not our saving grace.  It was not what was right for us at the time, and it would be an even worse situation for us now.  It fell apart for a reason.  In hindsight, what really happened was it all fell together.

We outgrew our house five years ago.  Daunted by the market, the McMansions, foreclosures and new neighborhoods, we didn't even try to move.  There was no way we could compete with all of that.  How could we possibly sell not just a 30 year old house, but a 30 year old house in this neighborhood?

Now, we need to move.  We don't have a choice.  At first, we looked far away.  We even looked in another state that would keep Shawn's work commute relatively the same as it is now, and not put us more than an hour from church, and eventually, our favorite preschool.  What's 'funny' is, our realtor can't find anything we like in either of those other locations.  We see God trying to keep us close to our 'friend hub,' church, and original community.  We've taken three growing boys (is there enough space?  Enough room to roam?), three cats (our realtor laughs as I test the windows to make sure the screens are Jethro-escape-proof; "Now that's something I've never seen before!"), two adults, one dog (are there enough squirrels and birds to keep her happy?  Is the yard big enough?), 3 introverts (is it secluded?), an extrovert (are there enough children for him nearby?) and an-as-of-yet-unknown-personality into consideration.  We know what our family needs, versus what our family wants.  We are welcoming God into this decision, wanting to make sure we aren't being greedy or unreasonable.  We want Him to bless this next house, and we want it to be the right decision for our family.  We want to be in the home God wants us to be in, where our family will grow, prosper and be happy.

We want to be hopeful.  I want to be giddy, I want to be excited, I want to be able to imagine our family in the homes we are looking at.  We are afraid. The same fears about selling this house are still very prominent in our minds.  We've been hesitant to tell anyone what we're up to, and when we visit houses.  If we talk about it too much, it won't happen. We want this to work out.  We hope we have learned all the lessons God intended by keeping us here.  We hope this will be our turn.  A better place for our family with new memories and adventures.

Here's to hindsight, and the future.....