"Even Miracle Babies Can Be Jerks"

When I saw that post on social media the other day, I sat there shocked.  A little dumbfounded.  I stared at the words for a few moments.

Then I burst into tears.

What I felt was relief.

As I read through the post and the comments, the weight of the guilt for taking my miracle boys for granted still felt like concrete on my shoulders, but I also felt--relief.

There are other moms like me.

There are other kids like him.

I prayed so hard for my boys.  I wanted them so much.  And now I have them.

What I also have is a sh**ton of guilt for the way I feel sometimes when I really don't like one of them for the way he behaves.

I did not pray for this.  I did not want this.  But now I have this.

There is no way to absolve myself of this guilt because what I have, other women and grieving mothers with empty arms still pray for.

They would do anything for one day with my problems.

And yet, I dare to complain about the gifts I've been given.

This mom of her own miracle baby jerk was doing her best to absolve the rest of us of our guilt.  Her insightfulness saved that day for me.  I've been thinking about that post ever since, reminding myself it's okay to let go of the guilt.

My son is not perfect, and neither am I.  Neither of us ever will be.

Praise God for other moms who are inside our own heads, speaking wisdom and loving truth.