Throughout the spring, summer and fall, our family enjoys attending local music festivals and other forms of outdoor fun. I seldom get out of the house anymore and the kids refuse don't either, so when we have the chance for fresh air and fun, we jump on it. Well, Shawn and I do.
Inevitably, our kids find other kids and vice versa to play with at these festivals. Our hope heading out is they will actually find other kiddos, allowing us to enjoy ourselves in relative peace. We keep a close eye on ours, have Avery check in periodically if he heads off on his own, and we're quick to pull everyone back if it looks as though they're imposing, apologizing to and thanking the other family for their patience. I'm not there to watch anyone's children except my own, nor do I expect anyone else to watch mine. I'm not a babysitter; random children are not part of my circus. I've got enough on my hands with my own monkeys and circus, thank you very much.
This past weekend, we went to one such music and flower festival. We were really looking forward to it. The weather was perfect, one of our favorite bands was playing, and one of our favorite local restaurants was selling their incredibly delicious brick oven pizzas. We were looking forward to walking among the flowers, buying some flowers to take home, watching the kids play and listening to some great 90's tunes. I even dressed up a little to make the day feel more special. It was going to be a great day! We had plenty of snacks for the kids, Avery packed a book and both boys had action figures with them. We tend to (over)prepare for any and all contingencies when we take our children out, so I'll be honest, I don't have much patience for people who don't. You're a parent, get it together.
Before we'd been there even fifteen minutes, we'd attracted the attention of a 4-5 year old boy who was very curious about Ezra. Yay! Go play! Be gone with you!
No such luck. Little Boy (LB) was insanely curious about what looked like to him, I'm sure, our many treasures, and Ezra wanted nothing to do with what felt like to him, I'm sure, this invasion. Uninvited, LB plopped himself right down on our blanket, quickly making himself comfortable. A little too comfortable. If the boys were using their little personal fans (aka, "please be quiet and stop complaining" fans), LB was hot. And not just hot, but soooooo WHINEEEEE hotttttttt. When we were eating our pizza, he was HUNGREEEEEE. Juice boxes? Yep, you guessed it--he was THIRSTEEEEE. I don't know about you, but I'm not giving food or drink to a child I don't know, knowing nothing of said child's medical history, dietary needs or the personal ethics of the parents. Not going to happen. However, I also wasn't going to tell my own hungry and thirsty kids they couldn't have their needs met because of this child. I don't have much patience when my own children whine at me. So a complete stranger's kid whining in my face? Hard NO. Please go back from whence you came. Now.
I have to really give Avery a lot of credit here--LB had grabbed one of his action figures before any of us could say anything, and even though LB brought it back when I told him it needs to stay on the blanket (and you need to go find your people...)--he was a 4 or 5 yr old kid (presumably one without boundaries and rules), so he played like one. I whispered to Avery, "deeeeeep breaths," commending him for how well he was handling it. I know he was struggling to not climb the nearest wall, have a full on meltdown or even scream point blank at LB (Me too, kid. Me. Too).
After politely suggesting he should return to his family ("Do you know who you came here with? Can you point to them?" "*shoulder shrug* I'M HUNGREEEEE!!"), we surveyed the entire grounds for any individual or group watching him, watching us, motioning to him, calling for him, heading our way--nothing. Not a single person showed any interest at all in LB (I wonder why--??). We repeatedly, cheerfully, and politely, suggested he should go find his people. I'm not exaggerating when I say at least forty-five minutes went by before we finally found the group we thought he belonged with: three young girls, all drinking wine and giggling and taking selfies with each other.
Oh, sorry--did I audibly groan just now? Or perhaps the earth tilted a little when I rolled my eyes?
Seriously. I've been (unwillingly) entertaining your child for nearly an hour so you can have your wine and take your selfies in peace? Nooooooo. Nope. Not today.
I realize this makes me sound like a very not nice person, so to be clear, we would have been just fine if LB and Ezra played around the blanket or ran around while staying within sight. We would have been fine if they'd given us a wave, ANY sign they acknowledged him and were keeping their eyes on him, ready to reign him back in. I just did not have the patience, nor the desire, to have someone else's child up in my face, nor did Ezra want anything to do with LB. If my boys wanted to share their action figures and play with LB, I would have encouraged it, but I'm not the parent to command my children participate when they aren't comfortable. My children have their own voices for a reason. Please don't ask how well that works for me on a school day. Sigh.
This group finally realized we were staring daggers in their directions (at this point, we had popsicles and the kid was practically screaming because he didn't). Young Lady #1 (YL1) skipped (SKIPPED) her way over to us, cheerfully demanded to know my name (excuse me?), then, referencing LB, asked if it was "cool if he could chill here (with us)." I laughed out loud. Wrong answer, I know, but my next answer wasn't much better. I explained (slowwwwwleeeeee) that we are strangers, we were there to enjoy ourselves and family time, I absolutely was not there to babysit her child ("OH! He's not my kid, he's my little brother!" Ummm--don't care! Not the point! Still not my problem!), but if he spent anymore time monopolizing mine, I'd be happy to submit an invoice to her for my childcare services.
My late 40s have been brilliantly, wildly liberating, just saying.
I thinnnkkkk by the look on her face, that wasn't exactly the answer she was expecting. Oh well.
It appeared LB was there with YL1 and two of her friends; he was snack-less, drink-less, toy-less, bored and not well attended at all. Later, Avery said he saw LB take a coke from another family's blanket and run off with it. Oh my gosh.
For our remaining two hours there, we were, mercifully, left alone. LB, YL1 and her friends gave us and my RBF a wide berth after my offer.
Look folks, I'm tired. My family is tired. It's the kind of tired sleep doesn't solve. I had 6 seizures in one 24-hour period earlier in the week. We never know when I'm going to do my little teapot routine, so we're always exhausted and anxious from being on guard. The meds have made mush out of my brain. So, when we do get out, I want to enjoy my time and my own family. I'm not there to entertain your stragglers or make up for your laziness and inattention. My family and I deserve a break (--especially when we've paid well for it); there haven't been too many of those around for us the past six months. We need all the breaks we can grab up, especially with our school year nipping at our heels.
I don't care what you do with your kids, just don't dump them on me. Don't trust I'm happy to entertain your child so you don't have to. Don't expect me to watch your precious little one just because I have my own. And please, for the ever-loving LOVE, do not presume I am content to listen to your child yammer nonstop as s/he crashes our party.
I'm not running a daycare on my picnic blanket. I'm just there to enjoy myself. I am not your babysitter.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.