One of those Days

I will admit, I need to whine for a minute here.

Crazy is as Crazy does!

The past few weeks have been difficult for me because my pain levels have been through the roof.  I've had to force myself out to do activities with the children and to get to where we absolutely have to be.  I slept most of this past Sunday, in the hopes my pain would ebb and of recouping my energy levels.  Unfortunately, that didn't happen.  I woke up this morning with a migraine and such pain that I almost wasn't able to get out of bed when Shawn left for work.  Needless to say, Avery and Noah have fully taken advantage of this slower-than-usual Mommy of theirs.  Our house is more of a madhouse than usual, which to me always seems like a difficult feat, considering how crazy "usual" is for us!


Now, the real reason I'm writing today.

Several days ago, I received an email from the chaplain I work with.  Someone has offered his services to our center, giving of his time to videotape testimonies from those of us helped by our growing ministry.  Our fearless leader included me in the email asking for testimonies and help.

As I've written before, I love this ministry of ours, and I believe in the work we are able to do with all of my heart and soul.  I am proud of it and the work God does there.  I owe a lot to the people who volunteer there every day, the people who listened to me and welcomed me with open, non-judgemental arms the first day I walked through the door.  I know I would not be alive if it weren't for this ministry.  Shawn and I wouldn't still be married and I would've lost custody of Noah a long time ago.  We never would've had Avery.  None of that is an exaggeration.  I wouldn't have the support network I now cling to and I would not have purpose in my life.  Most importantly, without this ministry, I never would have accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior.  I would not have been re-baptized, proclaiming my faith and beliefs before the Body of Christ.  This center is deeply a part of who I am, who I have become and who I am still becoming.  None of that is an exaggeration, either!  :)

Back to our chaplain's request.  Of course I'd love to give a videotaped testimony!!!  My mentor and I exchanged a few more emails to confirm the details, then I started to worry, as I typically do when faced these sorts of situations.  Did she want me to have something prepared?  Would there be someone to guide me or ask questions?  Was there something specific she wants me to talk about--I mean, there's SO MUCH for me to say about what our ministry has done for me!  How much time would I have?  After all, I do like to talk and it's difficult for me to a give a condensed version of anything, but especially this ministry!

I sat down at my computer so I could email her with my questions.  As I opened my email, I literally laughed out loud.  There, in my inbox, was another email from my mentor.  The content just proved how close we are at this ministry and how well our fearless leader knows each and every one of us.  Her words were simple:  "Pray, and God will give you the words to speak.  No matter what you say, it will be exactly what other people need to hear.  Relax and let God."

So today, the boys (with plenty of keep-them-busy,-quiet-and-cooperative activities and food bribes), my trusty cane, my migraine and body pain, and I are headed out in this dreary rain so that I may speak into the lives of those who may be searching for the kind of support and help God helps us give to others through our ministry.  I am going to speak the words from God which I have heard while in prayer.  I will speak the truth of God and the way of the light.

"If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To Him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen."  1Peter 4:11