In Defense of Perfectly Capable Husbands (and Dads)... Including My Own....

I'm noticing a shift in a trend. Not an immediate shift, but one that has happened over the past decade or more.  I don't know if I'm just more sensitive, and therefore more aware, or if maybe it's always been this way--but Hollywood and the like seem to be shifting from portraying women as bumbling, incompetent fools (thank you, Lucy and Ethel... personally, I never found that show anything other than insulting.  Yeah, go ahead, call me a fun killer.  I've been called worse.) to portraying all men as such.  I don't understand the trend.  It's insulting, quite honestly.  What's the deal here?

One movie in particular has recently drawn my ire (and sparked this blog post....).  While most of the themes were spot on, and it was a good movie, the underlying theme seemed to focus on how incompetent the husbands were.  They couldn't figure out what to pack in the diaper bag, or how to use a wipe.  Scenes showed three fathers outnumbered by children who ran amok, with the wives envisioning two of them wrapped together with duct tape, while another hid behind a counter with his eyes closed.  Seriously?  Part of me wanted to yell, "Oh for crying out loud, MAN UP!"  I'm not entirely sure if I would've been yelling at the characters, or the writers, directors and producers, though.  I realized yelling at the movie probably wasn't a good idea though, as I was at our pastor's house watching it with his wife and other church women who are still getting to know me....

In this day and age, we have dads leading sporting events, coaching teams, leading Scouts and other various groups, attending school events, taking a day off to chaperone field trips or volunteer in their  child's classroom. We have single dads with full custody of their children.  Annnnddd... get this.... there are even dads who stay at home, or work from home, not because they are simply out of work, or have to, buuutttttt.....  because they want to!  *Gasp*  There is an entirely new generation of hands-on dads who are embracing their role.  It's another trend I'm noticing, because honestly, I can't name one husband among my friends who fits the Hollywood stereotype of 'bumbling idiot.'  These are the men who notice when something needs be cleaned, when the milk is running low, when a child's fingernails need clipping--and they take care of it themselves, even if their wife is a stay at home. These are the men who don't divvy up "women's work" and "men's work."  It's all for one, and one for all.  And God bless them!

And please note, I'm not addressing deadbeat divorced husbands and fathers, or even married deadbeats (that's another entire blog I really don't have the Xanax for), I'm talking about the husbands who are truly hands-on.  The dads who are in the trenches, right alongside their wives, and yes, in some cases, their ex-wives.  These are the good guys.

Maybe I'm spoiled, or perhaps my husband really is part of a minority, but I do not see incompetence when I watch him with our children.  He does not shy away from the responsibility of raising our boys, he meets it head on.  He picks up where I need to leave off, most of the time without me having to even ask.

Whatever the case is--I'm grateful.  I know how lucky and blessed I am to have the husband I have.  I know I am spoiled, and I am loved.  And because of who Shawn is as a dad, our kids know they are too.