Nailing it (Parenthood)

In my blogs, I tend to write about the countless times I haven't nailed motherhood. I share the snarky, and I share the serious. All my failings, from the funny ones to the not-so-funny, brutally honest, perhaps you should call social services ones.  My reasons for sharing vary; I want to make you laugh, I need to laugh at myself, I want to make you feel better about your own foibles--not necessarily to make myself feel better, though!

My main theme is usually this:  Mother(parent)hood is HARD.  There are the rewarding days, and the not-so-rewarding, we're-all-lucky-to-still-be-alive days.  We need to stick together as moms.  We need to support each other, and come together as a community.  We're all in this together, not against each other. My biggest theme is encouragement.

Sometimes we share our nailed it moments as bragging rights.  We pat ourselves on our backs, expecting others to do the same.  And maybe in an effort to one-up the other moms....  Sometimes, we just share these moments because hey, we did it.  We did it right this one time, and it all turned out okay.  We need those pats on our backs from each other.  In order to keep going, we need to hear that we're doing alright.  We need that affirmation from other moms.

So, how do we know when we've nailed it? It's those times we hit our knees in prayer, fighting for our children.  It's when we march into the school, prepared to defend our children, their rights and their needs.  Maybe it's birthday cake for breakfast on a snow day.  It's those nights we lovingly tuck our children into bed and tenderly kiss them goodnight, hugging tightly with forgiveness and grace, after an evening of hearing how much we're hated, having shouted back WELL THAT'S TOO BAD BECAUSE I LOVE YOU AND I LOVE BEING YOUR MOM!  And yes, it's asking our children for that same forgiveness and grace when we don't necessarily deserve it.  It's those moments when we see them succeeding, or failing with grace.  Or those times when we know we're doing the right thing, even though it just feels plain wrong, even though it hurts us, but there's a lesson that needs to be taught, and learned--and seeing that lesson learned.  Nailing it is seeing our children 'get it,' catching those amazing sibling moments, and having your children tell you that you're doing alright without saying a word. It's stepping out of our comfort zone to do something with our children, something they want to try, but only if we'll do it with them.  Yes, it's even those times we have to put our screaming infant in his crib and walk away for a breather, or lock ourselves in our walk in closets, locking the other three doors in between, to catch a quick moment with our chocolate stash for a quick break from our older children. Nailing it is knowing when to step back and take care of ourselves, knowing when we have to put our own needs first, in order to better take care of those who rely on us and need us. Perhaps it's letting go, letting those apron strings out just a little more, when all we want to do is pull them closer and tie them in an impossibly undoable Gordian Knot.  Many times, its those nights when we collapse on the couch, too tired to make it to our own beds after a rousing game of whack-a-mole, but everyone is still accounted for, in one piece, and the house isn't in (complete) shambles at the end of the day. I think it's all of those, and more.

How do YOU define nailed it?  Do you give yourself grace with your definition?

I want you to know mamas, you're nailing it.  Even on the really awful, we're-all-lucky-to-still-be-alive days, you're nailing it.  Please give yourselves a big ole hug from me, and know that you're doing more than alright.  Give yourselves the same grace you give others. Keep hanging in there. You've sooooo got this, lovies.