Don't Be a Judgmental Jerk

I debated on this one, but, you know?  Here goes.

Today was our sixteenth anniversary--yep, sixteen whole years! We took the kids to a late lunch at a restaurant where they did not ask "Do you want that medium or large," AND they had a real, honest-to-goodness hostess.  We very seldom get to do this, but we really wanted to celebrate.  We decided to gamble a little bit.

We were seated in a booth, with Ezra in a highchair.  Ezra hadn't napped, and he had just received two shots.  Like I said, we were in a gambling mood.  My kids really weren't any worse than usual.  No, you know what?  They weren't bad at all.  They were being kids.  Yes, they're rambunctious.  Yes, they can be a little loud.  Yes, they're very excitable.  Ezra was fussy and wasn't sure what he wanted, but he wasn't screaming, or even crying. Once we moved him to the booth with us, and he got a full dose of Coke Zero, he was good to go anyway. We were handling it, and they were being well behaved.  I will stress this:  My kids were not being awful.  I've seen awful. I know awful. On occasion, my kids really are awful. This was not one of those times.  My kids were being kids.  I'm going to stress this one more time:  They.  Are.  Kids.  Never in my personal history of motherhood have I ever used that, or "boys will be boys" as an excuse for poor behavior.  Trust me, if my kids were being awful, I would tell you straight up.  You know me well enough by now to take that as truth.

Before we'd even had a chance to order our drinks, we noticed the looks we were getting from the  couple seated in the booth across from us.  They made a very dramatic show of giving us nasty looks, then disgustedly, they threw money on the table without asking for the check, and left before they were even served their entrees.  Really? 

A few minutes later, the hostess attempted to seat another couple in that same booth.  Immediately,  casting her eyes in our direction, the woman said, "Oh no, we're not sitting here.  Seat us elsewhere."  Really?  I, um, may have laughed a little bit later when I took fussy Ezra to the lobby while Shawn and the boys finished up, and that very same couple was seated directly next to the lobby.  Uh huh.

So, here's the thing.  Most of us have been in the "I'm out with my kids and they're being loud and I'm really sorry but this is my daily life and I love it and they're only being kids and they really aren't being rude or awful" situation.  We've also had to deal with people who aren't so understanding.  It blows my mind that people who have raised children are typically the most judgmental ones!  Be patient.  Be kind.  If you're still raising children, that could be you getting those looks next time. If you've raised children, perhaps you were once (or more) on the receiving end of those looks. If you are younger than child-bearing age giving these looks, you may just have to eat your words (looks?) one day. In fact, I'll guarantee it.  If you've never raised children, well, think of a similar situation you've been in. And yes, while acknowledging my panties are in a twist because these two couples looked askance at my babies, I will also acknowledge that patience and understanding work both ways, and yes, I judged these couples.  Believe me, I completely understand wanting to have a quiet meal with your spouse.  Trust me.  But, can you imagine how it would've gone if we, with our three children in tow, had snootily declared we weren't going to sit next to these couples?

There was one other patron near us.  He was an older gentleman seated diagonally across the aisle from us, and he stuck it out with us.  He never gave us nasty looks, never sighed with exasperation, never said boo.  I don't know if the dear man was just blessedly hard of hearing, or patient and understanding.  It doesn't really to matter to me.  In him, I saw a bit of humanity and consideration. And you know what?  We anonymously paid for his meal to thank him.  I really hope we were able to bless him as much as he blessed us with his (hard of hearing?) compassion.

Moral of the lesson:  Don't be a nasty, mean old judgmental jerk!!!!  Be patient, be kind, be compassionate.

We're going to miss these times with our kids someday.  I really hope we're the old couple paying for the meals for that family with the rambunctious children sitting across from us, rather than being nasty about it.