In the Spirit of Thanksgiving (Supernatural Superglue)

"With friendships, I found my desire for connection was stronger than my fear of rejection"
--Lisa Whelchel

I'm not a moms' group type of person.  I get halfway through a meeting, and I'm ready to run.  I've tried several, but they're too cliquy, too personal, or not personal enough, too big, or too small, too organized, or too unorganized, too touchy-feely, or not touchy-feely enough.  Some advertised meeting for fellowship, but were in fact very Pinterest-y, or concentrated on having speakers, or snuck in a bible study or book group.  Some provided child care (because, let's face it, one of the obvious reasons we go to moms groups is to get a break from our children), while others expected your child to sit beside you, perfectly quiet, ankles crossed, hands folded, flawlessly parted hair (no cowlicks, here!), and don't forget the designer clothing!   I used to compare myself to the perfect moms with their perfect bodies sipping their perfect soy lattes bragging about their perfect and brilliant princesses, wondering what I could possibly have in common with these women.  I could feel their eyes judging me.  I didn't feel safe when I tried to share, I felt pitied.  I was desperate to connect, but I feared rejection even more.  I just couldn't find a moms group that fit my needs, kept my eyes from rolling out of my head and made me feel safe.  So, I swore off moms' groups. Bu-bye.

I'm also a perpetual bible study drop out.  A few weeks in, and I would stop going.  I might've made an excuse or two at first, then just conveniently forget about it.  Oops.  

Oh, and then there's that whole introversion thing.

So when Pastor L approached me and two other women about leading a moms' group at our church, I was standing up to leave before she could finish her sentence!  Ohhhh, no, no, no!  I'd been this road too many times in attendance of these ridiculous groups, absolutely no way was I going to lead one!!!  In my head, I heard His voice, plain as day, "Amy Noelle, if you don't sit down this very instant and hear her out, I'm going to use supernatural superglue on your behind to make sure you do!"  Alllllllrighty then.

And so we began--three shy, introverted women, wondering what in the world we were doing, but listening to God and trusting in Him that it would all work out, and hoping HE knew what we were doing!

We began our group a little over a year ago meeting every two weeks. We could not believe how many moms signed up!  We quickly moved to meeting every week because we realized just how much we needed each other.  There was an immediate connection, love, compassion, an understanding among us. There are some weeks we would meet every day, if we could!  Many of the connections groups take off during the holidays and summers, but we keep on going.  There is a need this group fills for each of us. We don't lead with a curriculum like many groups do; we lead with our hearts for each other and our Father, God leads us.  We are a support group, a friendship circle, a fellowship group, not necessarily a bible study or book club, but if one of finds something during our quiet time during the week, we will share it with the rest of the group.

We have amazing, loving sitters, but if a child needs to join us, we kind of pass him or her around.  There's a good chance at least one of us has snacks, juice boxes and toys in our purses or diaper bags, and those are shared.  Children are not expected to sit quietly and behave--they are children, after all! Good grief, let them act like children!  As for the babies, if you don't bring them to me in our meeting room and let me take them home pass them around, well, what's the point in coming?!?!?!  Just kidding, just kidding!!!  But seriously, let me hold your baby.

I can't imagine life without these women.  I'm grateful my co-leaders and I took that leap, and I'm so grateful for each and every one of these amazing women.  They are such gifts to me!  There is no judgement--Rule #1--and there is always confidentiality--Rule #2.  We offer a safe place for whatever we need to say, and however we need to say it.  Some days we're more organized than others--and the days we're not, we realize those are the days God is leading the best.  On the days we do have something planned, we throw it all out the window for good conversation, or if someone has something in particular she really needs to talk out.

We are none of the things in the first paragraph of this post.  What we are is: Faithful to each other, caring, loving, providing, understanding, listening, laughing, sharing.  We cry with each other, we praise and worship with each other, we fill in each other's blanks.  We are each other's supernatural superglue.  Last week, I began to cry during my prayer and couldn't finish it, so a friend picked up where I had to leave off.  She doesn't even know the person I was praying for, but that's what she did for me.  THAT is only one amazing part of what our beautiful little group is about.

Most importantly, we are FRIENDS.  We can count on each other, we lean on each other.  We pray for each other, and love each other.  And for that, I'm eternally grateful.

It took me fifteen years to find these women and form this group.  My point is this--do not give up.  If you are not the group type, but long to belong, I encourage you to please do not give up.  If you belong to a church, speak to your connection group leader about forming a group and look for other women with whom to form it.  If you are looking for a group within your community, Google is a great place to start.  Contact the leaders, and quiz them, give one meeting a try.  Please don't give up, please keep searching until you find your own supernatural superglue.  Much to love and blessings to you on your search, dear one.