God Has The Last Word

On the way into town this morning, we heard the radio DJ tell a story about a father who printed a prosthetic arm on a 3D printer for his little boy, after the doctors told them the little boy was too young for one. The father did the same for a little girl in the same situation.  From the back of the car I heard a triumphant shout: "Doctors can suck it!  God has the last word!"  Avery knows that is the only appropriate time he is allowed to use the phrase 'suck it.' 

I'm not a superhero.  I'm just a mom slogging through the trenches, refusing to let her kids be pulled down into the quagmire that is often spoken over them.

A lot of people say to me, "I don't know how you do it," but the truth is--well, I don't know how I do it either!  There's no fast and furious formula.  There isn't a handbook.  I just do it.  I wing it.  I figure it out as I go.  And here's another truth:  If you had to do it, you would figure it out, too.  You would do it because there's no other choice.  You would do it because you love the hell out of your kids, and it's your promise to them to do your best by them.  You would do it because you are all they have.

I've done countless hours of research.  I've emailed and cold-called complete strangers in the hopes of finding better therapies and opportunities for my kids.  I've picked the brains of friends who live on the same planet we do.  I've literally taught my kids how to play.  I've sat on the floor of the mall, counting the timing of the escalator until my son was ready to give it a try.  I've homeschooled two kids, and I know the possibility is there I might homeschool my third, to give them a boost.  I have a duck living in my home because he helps one of my sons cope with life.  I've never accepted "no" as an answer from a specialist or therapist or insurance company or school when it's something I knew my kids needed and would benefit from.  I can't even think of all the things I've done, but what it boils down to, is doing what has to be done to give them the edge they need in life.  They are square pegs in a round hole society.

Most of all, I have refused to accept what many doctors have spoken over my boys.

I've walked out of countless offices, but not before standing over the doctor, my finger pointed, reminding that doctor that his or her medical license does not give them the right to speak such death and negativity into a child's life.  Statistics and research do not guarantee a child's potential.  Sometimes I've spoken up this in front of my child, if I thought my child needed to hear me stand up for him.  Other times, if I really needed to lay into the doctor, I've sweetly asked my child to wait for me in the hallway.  My lecture usually begins with, "How dare you..." or, "Now you listen here..."  Sometimes it's been through clenched teeth as my eyes burned holes into the doctor, other times I laughed incredulously, and responded in my true sarcastic, snarky fashion.  When I finish my speech, I beg these doctors to remember my words with their next patient.

I've felt the sting of hot tears trying to push their way through, while repeating to myself "Keep it together, you're the mom, keep it together, you're the mom, keep it together, you're the mom," over and over in my head, blocking out whatever it is the doctor is saying, until I've got it together enough to either walk out, or speak up without crying, then walk out.  I've had to leave my children in the hallway while I gather myself in the bathroom once we've left the office.  I never want my kids to think they, or their 'situation' have made me cry.

Doctors have a lot of book knowledge.  Yes, there are some very rare gems out there, and we have met a few.  But there are some who can only quote statistics and research.  They don't know anything beyond that, and don't know the human side of things.  At the end of the day, some doctors don't know squat, and they certainly have no place preaching the future over a child.

Our biggest lesson, and the only one I want my kids to know in their hearts, minds and souls--is God ALWAYS has the last word.  God is the only one allowed to have the last word.  God is the only one who is able to speak over their lives.  He is the only one with the right to speak life into into my children, into any child.  God is the only authority allowed to speak into my children's lives.

Anyone else can--well, they can suck it.