Sometimes Motherhood Just Kicks You in the Bum

I will admit it.  I wallowed more than a bit the past week and a half.  I really had a tough time getting my head around The Event in our home.  It's something that is difficult to spring back from.  I needed some time to recover.  I was overwhelmed and stressed out and and and and..... Yeah.

I yelled, "I'm DONE," at the heavens, throwing in my maternal towel.
God calmly threw my towel back to me, telling me I most certainly was not, and could not be done.
I wanted to ignore Him.
He calmly waited on me.
I stomped my feet, mumbling, "Fine, but I'm not happy about it."

When I rejoined the land of the living, it was a dear friend who reminded me the best possible way of being done is surrendering my control of the situation to God, by telling me of her own done-ness.

It was a child who died because his country decided his fate was not up to his parents, but up to them.  When his parents and another country were willing to jump through hoops for him, his own country decided he was not 'viable,' deciding his life was not important enough.  They made decisions they had no business making for his parents.  It's other countries declaring awful deaths on innocent women and children with chemical warfare.  It these reminders of how hard I prayed for my children, and the miracles they are.

It was a blog post by a writer I enjoy, reminding me that it's okay to be a mess as a mother.  She reminded me in this season as a mother, I don't have to be perfect--BUT, this IS my ministry.  When I feel the winds of necessary change hitting my home, they need to begin with me.  Motherhood is not the romantic version I dreamed of as a child.  It is hard, tough, sacrificial work.  And in all of it, God is doing work that matters.  He is doing work in my child(ren), and He is doing work in my messiness.  When He throws that dirty, smelly dog-haired maternal towel back to me, He's telling me my work is not finished yet.  He's telling me His work is not finished yet.

It was God's grace.

It was a reminder.

Of where I belong.  Of extending grace to my child(ren).  Of messiness and kicks and in the bum.  Of ministry and hard, important work.

Mamas, it's okay to take time to recover when motherhood kicks you in the bum.  It's okay to want to throw your towel in.  But remember, you are not alone, and you are loved.  You are so very dear, and so is your child.  In this season of messiness and hard work, grab onto someone's hand, and hold tight.  Grab on to a reason, a reminder.  You're not in this alone.

You are never in this alone.