"This Too Shall Pass"

The other day I saw a meme which first gave me pause, then a great deal of laughter:

"Ohhh, this too shall pass!"
"So does uncontrollable diarrhea, but that doesn't mean it doesn't suck until it does!"

Not only did I laugh, I even passed it around.

It's possible I laughed a little too hard, and a little too long over this.  All the same--I loathe that phrase.  LOATHE.

As a Christian, one hears, "this too shall pass" often (Fun fact: Did you know this phrase actually originated from a Persian fable?).  I grew up hearing it, and over the past 18 months, I've threatened (under my breath, of course) to throat punch the next person who said it to me.

*Please note: I've decided the response from this meme will now be my response.  You've been warned.*

I mean--can we just allow others to feel their feelings completely, wholly, without trying to shut them down with Christian-speak?

Can we agree with the person who dares to say, "This sucks.  I'm sad," or "I really hate this right now"?  Can we be in the moment with our friends, our families, our children, our fellow parishioners and their feelings, rather than shoving them into the future, where we are more comfortable, but they aren't yet ready for?

It boils down to discomfort, doesn't it?

In shutting others down, we are gravely invalidating them.  Think about that for a minute--we are squelching the voice of a fellow human being.  We are robbing them of their power, the only power they might feel they have in a specific situation.  Without so many words, we are saying what they're going through, what they are feeling isn't important.

This is how children learn to be silent.  This is how children grow into adults who don't know how to work through their emotions, who don't know they are important, and who don't know it's okay to feel how one feels.  This is how we shut others down before they can even begin.  It's how we offend others, lose friends, and cause rifts within the church, the workplace and other communities.

I'm sure most people think they mean well.  In their minds, it is akin to a pat on the shoulder, a way to comfort another person, to tell them no matter how bad it is now, it's not going to last (sooooo... perhaps just say that instead???).

I think sometimes--perhaps even most of the time--it's said without even thinking, it's an automatic reaction.  I wonder if sometimes it's used even in a flippant way, though.  They don't want to take the time to listen, so they throw out an easy catchphrase.

It just rings with insincerity. 

Let's make a promise to each other: Let's begin with sincere hearts for one another.  Let's sit down and make time for intentional conversation.  Let's check in, and check on, each other.  Let's promise to be more purposeful with our actions and our words.

Even if it's about uncontrollable diarrhea.