What's in a Name

Not long ago, I decided to change the name of my blog.  It just kind of happened.  While writing a different post, I typed out the sentence, "life as I know it so far."  Whoa.  Only six words, but it felt incredibly profound.

When I first named this space, I was struggling with life; a friend was encouraging me to start a blog as an outlet, but I had no idea what to call it.  The day Noah was diagnosed with autism, Shawn and I loaded the kids in the car then met each other at the back bumper, kicking tires and crying, trying to regroup before making the ninety minute drive home.  Noah wasn't eligible for support services ("high functioning"); we were given a folder of information (I could've written) amounting to "Congratulations! Your kid has autism!" and set up with a six month follow up appointment.  We were on our own.  Angry and frustrated, I screamed at the sky, "They just dumped us in left field!" And thus, my blog was born.

In the years following that very first post, I've gained insight into life, I've been led by and taught by my children, followed Abba to far off places when He called us, I've been able to lead mamas to comfort, encouragement and love, we've moved, we've had two more babies and we dedicated ourselves to growing our marriage, simply loving well and loving hard.  I've celebrated, mourned, laughed and cried.  I've learned a world about autism--and attempted to teach the world about autism.  I've been gifted second, third and fourth chances I never deserved, as well as many, many lessons I did deserve (and needed).  I learned to embrace left field with my whole heart and love nearly every aspect of the life I've been given.  I learned to live out loud, with gratitude.  I've lived a whole lifetime.

Life is changing here, oftentimes at what feels like warp speed.  My days of raising small children are gone, as are the days of carting constant chaos in my car and constantly being surrounded by three children.  I've become that older mom in the grocery store beaming at the babies, encouraging their mamas, knowing those first years are so hard, but so so worthy.  Recently we had the privilege of launching our oldest out into the world, and we have the honor of watching our younger two mature and grow.  As a family unit, we are all moving forward; as individuals, we're doing the same.  Rest assured, we certainly still live in left field, but left field is shifting and evolving.

My posts no longer center so much on raising autism as they used to.  They no longer concentrate on left field, per se.  If you've been around the past three years, you know I've focused more on grief, loss and health.  

I've been stuck for a long while.  Just bogged down by life and circumstances beyond my control.  

This feels like a good time to change the name... Something healthy to do for myself (and in turn, my family).  I feel a forward movement, a shedding of my skin.  It's just a name change--I'm still me, the writer is still the same--but it feels so monumental.  The timing is good.  

Welcome to my continuing journey and what I know about life so far.  Thank you for joining me.