I'm a little nervous about all of this. Not because of the tests; I've been through all of these before, so I know what to expect. I'm not even nervous about what they might (or might not) find. What I'm most nervous about is the possibility of yet another doctor throwing her hands up and saying, "Well heck, I really just don't know what's wrong with you." I don't have time to be sick, I don't have the patience for all of this pain and exhaustion. I need answers and solutions that won't take me further out of commission. I'm not necessarily at peace about tomorrow, but I'm not getting worked up about it either.
When I got the phone call that the program had accepted me as a patient, a friend was over here with her boys and we were all sitting around the kitchen table talking. When I hung up after making all the necessary appointments, Shawn asked me when our appointments are. Meaning: We're in this together. My friend's reply was that she'd take the boys that day, no matter what it meant for her schedule. Again, meaning: I'm in this with you. I've had many people praying for me over the past month since my appointments were made and there will be others in prayer for all of us tomorrow. I'm nervous, but I'm not going into this alone. Along with Shawn, I'm taking God with me (I'm sure He's having a good chuckle over that one!) and the prayers of my many friends.
One of the most comforting aspects of tomorrow is knowing my kids will be in good hands. I naturally will worry that they are behaving and as their mom, I worry about their well-being any time they are away from me, but the point is that I don't have to. They will be with great friends who love them almost as much as I do. Avery calls one of them "Momseller" (a variation of mom and her last name); I just call her The Noah Whisperer. My friend is going so far as to take a day off from work so she can be with my boys. Her own boys want her to bring Avery (their honorary little brother) to their schools so they can show him off. After a day of running her ragged, they will be passed off to another friend until we get home.
I'm not sure what they have planned tomorrow (I heard something about red dye, 'mal mert' and SpongeBob....), but unlike usual, I don't feel the need to micromanage or leave notes about my children. I have a peace about me, knowing my children are good, capable hands and will have fun.
And besides, Noah will be here to micromanage and keep everyone in line for me, then report back to me when I get home!
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