Noah has never done anything "by the book." While not having the typical toddler meltdowns, and not doing the typical toddler things made him the "easier" one in some ways then, there are times that not even the books about Aspy kids have made raising him any easier now. Noah lives life to his own tune, not really following any guidelines written that are supposed to make parenting well, um, easier.
And Avery.... Where do I start?!? Avery was the one who threw Dr. Dobson's The Strong-Willed Child at us as soon as he could crawl! Still, for the most part, Avery does most things "by the book." Does that make parenting him easier? Nope, not really!
BUT, there are times as parents that our children teach us maybe we aren't doing such a bad job after all. Maybe we're getting through to them after all.
Noah has been showing some maturity and responsibility recently.... All on his own. He's been taking on a few of his chores without being asked, and even some that aren't his chores. Shawn does his best to get up with the kids in the morning so I can sleep in just a little bit more, and Noah has been taking the trash out when he leaves for the bus stop, and he's memorized the trash days, so he takes the trash can to the end of the driveway on without being asked also. Noah is getting up on his own, getting his morning routine going, and taking care of most of his morning tasks, trying to make things easier on his dad (and in turn, me). He's been practicing his violin without being reminded, and, even better, he's been remembering his morning meds without being reminded. I can't tell you how proud I am of him. Now, this isn't to say we don't still have hiccups (ohhhh, we still have hiccups.... He is almost 12, after all!), but I'm really concentrating on the positives with him. School is continuing to go well, and he was just inducted into the Trojan Pride Club due to his accomplishments! I have prayed for this maturity for so long, and I'll continue to pray for more maturity (!), but seeing this growth in Noah gives me hope, and as his mom, it makes me beam. I know it's not me, I know it's between him and God. We still don't have the relationship I crave, but we're working on it. I recognize that he's trying to be more affectionate with me, that he's saying thank you more, that we're both making more of an effort with each other. Again, I know it's God. He's working hard with both of us.
Avery is my little sweetheart (not that Noah isn't, but these things that come out of my 3 year old's mouth, whew!). God is busy at work on his little heart! The other morning, after our walk with Lilly, he looked over at our neighbor's house and said, "Mommy, we need to go say good morning to Miss Pat." Miss Pat is our older, widowed neighbor, who we love and adore very much. He even wanted to take some of our fresh baked muffins to her (don't worry, we did). That touched my heart so much. It means that what I've been saying to him about caring about others, being nice to others, loving others, and doing nice things for others is getting through to his little heart. It also appears that Gretta's death had more of an impact on him that he realized. For one, after Lilly stomped on a cricket on our front path and killed it last week, Avery had a fit. I was getting ready to brush it to the side with my foot when Avery started yelling that we had to put it in a box. Gretta lives in a box in the ground now, we told her she died, so after I explained to him that the cricket had died, it only made sense to him that the cricket would also live in a box in the ground. So, yes, the cricket went in a box, and the box went in the ground. Several days later, while they were playing, Avery asked Shawn if he ever misses Gretta, and if missing her ever makes him sad. Shawn said he does miss her, and it does make him very sad, then asked Avery the same questions. Avery answered yes, and said said he also misses Evan--his imaginary friend--but that Gretta needs him more, so that she isn't lonely. And come to think of it, we haven't heard much from Evan since Gretta died. My sweet boy.
These are my kids. Shawn and I don't always get it right. In fact, I daresay nine times out of ten we don't. But every now and then we do. Still, we aren't doing this on our own, and we aren't in this fight for our children alone either. Not only do we have God, but we have their villages. And I'm grateful for all the help we can get.
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I'm so glad things are going well for your family!
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