Embrace Your Weird

A few days ago I confessed to my guilty pleasure of reading a certain advice column.  In yesterday's column, a mother wrote in, concerned that her child is the 'class weirdo,' wanting to know how to 'fix' him.

Do you ever wish you could reach through your screen and hug the person giving the advice?  The columnist responded with love, gently telling the mother to embrace her child, embrace his weird and teach him to do the same--at the risk of doing more damage to her child if she chose a different path in parenting.  In attempting to fix the child, you reject your child; instead, love your child where he is, as he is.  I love that advice.  I really do!

I was an awkward child.  I still am a very awkward adult.  It's who I am, and I've learned to work with it.  Fortunately for me, I've found my tribe--people just as weird and awkward as I am--and we do life well together.  We keep each other grounded, and tend to not blink when things get too weird.  We've also been able to help each other be more social, less awkward and maybe even a little more outgoing.  It's a good mix, and we embrace each other.

In our family, we're all a little weird and awkward.  Shawn and I have weird kids.  Our kids have weird parents.  We even have weird cats, and an equally weird dog! We belong to each other, we fit in here. This is our normal.

Fortunately, I've learned to accept my own weird.  As I said, it's just who I am.  Unfortunately, it took me until parenthood to realize that I really needed to deal with it, and either change, or figure out how to be comfortable within my own skin (okay, I still struggle with that part).  I realized I needed to do this not just for myself, but for my kids.

I knew that if I didn't learn how to embrace my own weird and normalize it for my boys, their own perceptions of themselves would be skewed.  They would recognize their differences, and hide them. They would become someone they aren't in an effort to fit in.  And who wants to fit in???? I knew that I would also be sending a message if I changed who I am: Fit in.  Conform.  Be who society is comfortable with.  That was not the lesson I wanted my children to learn from me.  

I want my children to be able to respond the way I couldn't as a child: "I might be weird, but at least I'm me.  This is who I am.  I am authentic."  I was incredibly self conscious about my weird, and honestly, it only made me more awkward!  I want my children to wear their weird with pride, to embrace it, and to find their own tribe.  It is perfectly okay to be different.  For the people who have a problem with it, it's their problem, not ours.  We are teaching our children there is a time and a place for our family weird, and it's usually quite obvious when we've held our weird in too long.

Weird is not a bad thing.  Weird is how our world acquires amazing artists, writers, musicians and pioneers in the science field.  Weird is how we have things like cures for disease, the internet and solutions to infinite problems.  Weird is where the thinkers come from, where they start, and where they end.

If you are weird and don't fit in, I encourage you to embrace that part of yourself!  There is a reason you don't fit in--you weren't meant to!  You are destined for greatness, in your own right.

Let that freak flag fly, and own your weird, baby!