Raising Gentlemen

I'm sorry to have been so delinquent...  We've known Baby E's gender for over a month now.   Between illnesses, Avery's surgery, the children's winter break, and a major battle with depression, I either have not had time to write, or just have not felt up to it.  I'm trying to get back in the swing of things!

Baby E (sorry, you get the gender, but not the name--we need to be able to surprise you with something when he arrives!) is undeniably a BOY!  Yes, another boy.  My three sons.  Hahahaha.  Are you sure?  Yes, we're sure.  *points and laughs*  I've heard them all.....   Even our OB remarked about what strong genes we must have in our family...  Lady, you don't know the half of it.

Convinced this baby was definitely a girl based on how different the pregnancy has been, we were prepared to inundate ourselves with pink at this point.  Yes, I might've been looking forward to picking out hair bows and dresses.  Both boys decided they were ready to be big brothers to a sister.  Shawn was looking forward to styling pony tails and braids, father-daughter dances and dates, and doting on his princess.  I thought there might be a chance I've resolved enough of my own issues that I could be a great mom to a little girl.

That was actually a point a friend used when I revealed to her my desire for a third child, trying to convince me against it: "Well, you know it will be another boy, right?"  That was not a big enough reason to not try. Even when I was scouring through adoption websites, I started off looking at the little girls, but inevitably wound up back at the boys.  I could hope for a girl, but in the end, I knew it would be up to God, and He would be giving us what He knows is best for our family.

So, the big question--are we disappointed?  Not in the least.  He's healthy.  He's beautiful.  He's amazing. He is cherished.  He's very busy, especially between the hours of 10 pm and 4 am....  We love him, he's ours, we're getting the baby we pined and prayed for.  We wouldn't trade him for a girl for all the riches in the world.  We can't wait to meet him.

And, that's the thing--God gives us what we need, not necessarily what we want, think we need, or decide is best.  What we want is not always what is best for us, and what we think we want isn't always what we need.  As humans, we don't have the answers, and we just don't know.  God knows.  I'm grateful now we had this talk with Noah and Avery long before we knew Baby E's gender.  We may have thought we wanted a girl, but God had already knit together a perfect little boy in my womb.  He is perfect for our family.

Another thing, as my mentor pointed out, sometimes it's not even about us, our family in particular, but what the world needs, what is best for the future, and according to God's plans.  God has already written this child's story, and there is a reason he is a boy.  Shawn and I are raising gentlemen (please remind me of that, next time they have a contest to see who is most proficient in bodily functions and noises....), and we are raising Christian gentlemen.  Our boys will be good husbands, fathers and leaders.

My last point: I like being a boy mom.  I'm used to it.  I pretty much know what to expect and I've learned to roll with it, minus the occasional curve ball, of course.  I love my boys, and I wouldn't have life any other way.  We're on a course with our boys.  Our boys have, for the most part, made me a more relaxed, go-with-the-flow kind of person.  They've taught me to laugh at life, and seldom take it too seriously.  They've taught me what is important, and what isn't.   I'm a boy mom.  It's who I'm meant to be.  And I'm more than okay with this.


*Endnote:  Avery is already planning for Sibling #4....  He is thrilled with his little brother, but still planning a sister.