Domestic Violence Awareness Month

I'm pretty sure everyone is on top of the fact that October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month.  You can't scroll through social media, read the news, watch tv or walk down the street without being encouraged to feel your boobies.

But did you know that October is also Domestic Violence Awareness Month?  And yet, no one talks about it.  There aren't any signs, memes or commercials encouraging you to seek help, to notice the signs your friend, family member, student or acquaintance is being abused.  No one wants to talk about it, especially if it's happening to them.  Pictures of boobies in public are now widely accepted, but no one wants to see the emotional and physical bruises of abuse plastered about.

This awareness is near and dear to the heart of my family.  I write this blog every March on the anniversary, and again every October, in memory of my mother in law, and I will continue to do so.  My husband lost his mother to domestic violence 18 years ago, and I can tell you, the pain never really goes away.  Her three sons lost their mom, and her mother faced what no parent should ever have to do--burying her child.  Her sisters and brother lost their oldest sibling.  My mother in law did not get to see her boys get married, she did not get to meet my sisters in law, and our children were robbed of their grandmother.  They will never know her hugs, her love, her laughter, or the stories about their dads that only she knew.  I was blessed to have known her before her death, so I do have a few things I can tell my children.  She was precious, she mattered, she was loved.  Sadly, in this case, she was not the only victim, but those left behind have suffered long as well.  Shawn and his brothers have made good lives for themselves and their families, but I don't know that they will ever be able to 'move on.'

Instead of having my mother in law in our lives, we lived with the ever present specter of the man who committed the crime.  Once he was released from prison, we constantly felt the need to look over our shoulders, to keep tabs on our children, to guard our privacy and information. Schools and teachers were notified and supplied with recent photos of him.  My husband and his brothers armed themselves in order to protect their families, if it ever came to that. We heard only rumors of his whereabouts.  We lived in fear and paranoia.

This October, we breathe a little easier, and we are at ease to live our lives as we always should have been.  The specter is gone in death, and our lives have begun to retain a bit of normalcy.

I would beg you, if you are suffering at the hands of someone else, please, PLEASE, tell someone.  Leave now.  Don't look back.  I can assure you that you are not the only victim, especially if you have children.  Please seek help.  You are strong, you are worth it, you are a child of God who does not deserve to be treated in such a way.  You deserve to be genuinely, unconditionally loved and treasured. There is help, there are people who care, people who have traveled the path before you, and will not only point the way, but hold your hand along the way.  You can do this.

If you suspect someone you know is a victim of domestic violence, or if you suspect someone you know is an abuser, please speak up in love.  Please reach out to that person.  You could be the lifeline, the encouragement, the peace that person needs.  If you don't know how to proceed, contact your local non emergency police number, a shelter, a counselor or the National Domestic Violence Hotline for help.

You matter.  You are precious.

NATIONAL DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HOTLINE: 

1-800-799-7233