A Word from Ezra

Wow, what a day!  I've been wreaking havoc all day, and just finally got Mommy down for her nap.  She really put up a fight today!

I've heard that Noah occasionally gets a guest turn here, so I decided to go ahead and take my turn while Mommy isn't looking.

I think it's pretty clear to everyone that I run this place.  I mean, sure, I let Mommy and Daddy think they do, but let's be honest--we all know I'm not just in charge of the show, I AM the show.  Sometimes they forget it around here, so it's up to me to set it all straight.  

Mommy takes really good care of us, and she does a lot for other people, too.  My biggest worry is that she's under too much stress and doesn't get enough exercise, so that's where I come in.  Not only do I want to make sure she gets the exercise, but I want to make it fun!

When Mommy sat down to drink her coffee, and sank her elbows into the milk-soaked tablecloth (the one she had just washed last night and put down clean this morning), I knew right away it was up to me to recover the day and help her out.

First, we had a good game of catch--I threw my sippee to (no, no, not at) her.  She missed, and really, I don't know how because I screamed at her first in warning.  From there, it was pretty much just a normal day for us.  We worked our way through chores: I emptied the washer and dryer while she tried to load them, I relocated important things so she could have a fun scavenger hunt, and ran up the stairs several times so she had to retrieve me, making sure she got her stair climbing in.  Oh, squats are an important part of daily exercise too, so at lunch time, I threw plenty of food on the floor for her to clean up.

I don't understand all the "Stop!" and "Don't do that!" and "Oh my gosh, Ezra, No!" and this redirection nonsense she tries (Really? Filling the tea pitcher with ice?  Yeah, it was fun for a bit, but then it was more fun just putting the ice on the floor.)  I like to come in during her shower and show her things I've gotten into, or get into things in her bathroom and run off so she has to get during her shower to chase me--I consider it a service, I mean, those showers are so hot, she needs some cool down time.  Okay, and if I hadn't grabbed the scissors and run while she was pulling the meatballs out of the oven, she wouldn't have had to think fast (using her brain) and run fast (physical therapy, Mommy, you're welcome!).  I've also been busy showing her all the faulty child-proofing in the house--the oven really needs a child lock on it, as do the freezer and the dishwasher, and the locks on the no-no cabinets only keep the four of them out.  Time to get out the instructions manuals for the washer and dryer and figure out how to use the child locks on those, because nothing is more fun that stopping them mid-cycle, so that Mommy doesn't find out until she thinks they're finished.  Oh, and can we please talk about the door to the garage, you know, the one I keep letting myself and Dashiell out through?  Daddy really needs to replace that handle with an actual doorknob!

Really, it's all in a day's work.  And they're just part of the services I offer as a toddler.  Yawn.  And now, it's my nap time!