My Kids Didn't Go Back To School Today

Our county and the next county over are going back to school this week.

My kids aren't joining them.  


While I haven't quite adjusted, it is a huge relief to me.

What may seem a rite of passage for many, will not be for mine this year.

We made the decision to homeschool our kids this year, including Noah's senior year (his decision), and Ezra's first preschool year.

Looking at many of the back to school postings on social media, I've felt relief whoosh through me.

Relief that my children were not joining the herds of kids on the buses, jamming the hallways, and getting lost in the crowds.

Relief that it will be me, and the other chosen parents in our co-op, nurturing my children.

Relief that it will not be my children with their multiple differences, and me, fighting my way through the administration and teachers, for the better educations they deserve.

Relief that my children won't be taught only to state tests, but are free to learn within their desires, take family field trips that will interest them and free to learn how they learn.

Relief that they will be challenged as necessary, as well as able to go at their own pace as necessary, rather than having to play catch up, or sit bored in a classroom.

Relief that God will not only be allowed into their classrooms and schoolwork, but fully integrated, rather than having the door firmly shut in His face.

Relief to not have to attend all the back to school programs,  filling out all the forms for each child in triplicate, requesting the 504/IEP meetings, and so on....

My relief goes on.  My shoulders aren't tense this year.  I don't have the I'm feeding my children to the wolves apprehension I normally feel this time of year.  The here we go again feeling.

I'm not even tense about joining a co-op, where I only know one person.  Avery could not be more excited for this new adventure, and I'm praying it is at least one of the answers we've been looking for with him.  The original plan last year was to send him back to public school this year, but when we received his final third grade test results, we couldn't argue: We'd finally found something that worked.  This is my chance to really settle in with him and concentrate on everything he's needed the past few years in school that he hasn't been getting.  We recently met for an eval with a speech pathologist, and she reinforced the homeschooling approach (I reserved the urge to leap across the table and hug her, instead bursting into tears and thanking her). She gave me so many resources to use with him, and agreed that everything I've been arguing with the schools being problems over the last 4 years, are real, genuine problems--and I now have the power to help my child!  Avery will finally have the freedom to be himself, to be who he is meant to be.

Noah is attending an online private school (let's face it, he's smarter than I am), and will be using materials I supplement.  After last year, when I realized during the last week of school in May I should have pulled him in December when I pulled Avery, if not sooner, this is a huge relief for all of us.  Public school was slowly killing him.  He begged us to bring him home, and not send him back.  An incredibly smart kid, his grades reflected the depression he'd sunk into.  As his mom, it killed me that I didn't see it sooner.  I'm grateful to have Noah home this last year, where I can love on him, nurture him, pray on him and just be with him.  It's what I've wanted and prayed for.  Our relationship has gotten off track for so many reasons, and I just wanted my Noah back.  This is my chance before he leaves my nest.

Ezra is excited to be going to school at all!  It's something he's never experienced, but always watched his brothers go off to.  He's got a new backpack and a new lunchbox, so he's all set, and that's all he cares about!

This is our year.  I know it will come with its own problems and it won't be easy.  But this is the course we've chosen, and we're going to make the best of it.