Youth Group

I started out as a preschool teacher by trade.  I love working with children, so working with younger children seemed to make the most sense to me.  After Noah was born and I realized I needed to do something outside of Momhood that did not involve children Noah's age, a dear friend whispered in my ear about the youth group in our church.  TEENS????  *GULP*   I was raised Catholic, but was new to this church (outside of Catholicism), so I was considered a new Christian and knew nothing of listening to God, hearing His call, spiritual gifts or anything of the sort.  Instead, I thought, “Sure!  Sounds like it could be fun... I think…..”  Several of my friends were also leaders and I was certain that one way or another, I would have fun.

I’ve always been sort of intimidated by older kids though, so this was a new, frightening experience for me.  But, as I said, I’ve always loved working with kids, so I wanted to give it my best try.  One morning I woke up and realized I didn't just love working with kids, I loved working with these kids.  I was having fun!  I couldn’t wait to help plan the next sermon or event, I couldn’t wait to get to the next youth night, I couldn’t wait to see the kids again.  Not only did I love working with these kids, I loved them.  I still do.  I realized that I was even beginning to love them as my own.  And as I loved them as my own, I would have protected them with my life.  There are those special two or three who worked their way even further into my heart than the rest; they had me completely wrapped around their little fingers and they knew it (and they still do….). 

In the end, I learned that working with teens wasn’t really where God wanted me (I learned that whole spiritual gifts and listening to God "thing"...  not to make lightly of any of it, though), but I still love these kids, which is why this past week has been so difficult for me.  It also leads me to the point of my post….

Gossip, Rumors and Speculation…

I’ve heard numerous stories this past week, including the one the state police have given the parents of the teens involved in the car accident.  My point is that no one really knows the truth of what happened; only the kids who were in the car and God do.  I’ve heard gossip, rumors and speculation and honestly, I'm sick of it.  It hurts me and some of it has made me physically ill.  If it hurts me as a family friend, an honorary mama, and former youth leader of these beautiful teens, I can’t imagine what it’s done to the families.  I’m tired of the finger-pointing, of people saying, “See?  Don’t do that.”  These are “my” kids and I don’t want “my” kids being used examples.  I know lessons must be learned, but not this time; please, just let them be.  Go to church, go to school, go somewhere else: Learn your lessons there, teach your children there.  Don't use someone else's tragedy to teach and learn your lessons.  Don’t use the daughters and sons of mourning parents to teach and learn your lessons.

My best advice is this:  If you hear gossip, rumors or speculation in any situation, allow it to fall on deaf ears.  If you have the truth, set the person straight, give the facts, ask that he/she set the next person straight, then walk away.  If you don’t have the facts, please don’t add to the speculation.  Ask the person to not perpetuate the gossip, then change the subject.  If you need to talk about what happened, but can't trust the person you are with, don't share the details with that person. Find someone you can trust and ask them to keep everything you say confidential. Remember that the person who is being gossiped about is someone’s daughter, son, sister, brother, aunt, uncle, mom or dad.  He or she is important to and loved by someone.  Please keep in mind how you would feel if someone spread gossip about your family member, even if it's not being done intentionally or with malintent.