My Own Personal Ambivalence Towards Mother's Day

I worry this post will make me sound ungrateful, so please know that is not my intent.   My intent is to see this holiday from all sides.

It sounds awful to say, but it's one I'm not terribly fond of.  All the pressure on everyone to celebrate moms the 'right' way, the pressure if you're not a mom, the pressure if you don't have a relationship with your mom... The list goes on and on and on.  I love my kids more than life itself, and I know they love me.  Do we really need this holiday?  Sure, everyone needs to know they're appreciated--but do we really need this?  There are times I've struggled with even deserving this holiday.  Let's face it, I'm probably not going to win any Mother of the Year awards any time soon.

Yesterday, our pastor's wife spoke on celebrating ALL women on this day.  Not just moms.  ALL women.  It took everything I had within myself to not jump up and shout "PREACH IT!"

So, that is my heart with Mother's Day.  Whether you are raising someone else's children, a hamster, a dog, a cat, or your own children, whether you are speaking life to children in Sunday school or juggling the many hats teachers must wear these days--I celebrate YOU.  Thank YOU for all you do. Thank you for the many ways you do mother, the many ways you reach out with maternal love and acceptance, whether you realize it or not.

The thing about Mother's Day is this--we don't know what's in another person's heart. We don't know the maternal love hidden away in the heart of a woman who longs for children.  We don't know the pain of a woman hiding countless miscarriages and the immense grief of child loss.  We don't know the pain of the single dad who must wear not only his 'dad hat,' but the 'mom hat' as well.  We don't know the pain of the young woman longing for a relationship with an older woman, someone to fill the role of Mother, or the woman who has closed doors to toxic, unhealthy relationships.  We don't know the pain in a child's heart when he's had to bury his mom.  Mother's Day can be unbearably painful for some.

I struggle with this each year.  My anxiety reaches a pinnacle the week before, and inevitably, I take it out on those I hold dear to me.  I don't mean to, and I don't want to.  Many of you would tell me to shut up and be grateful.  And yes, I should--I am.  I am incredibly grateful.  More so than you could ever imagine.  But I also want to be kind and considerate, and remember that I don't know what others may be hiding.

So, I do not say to you, "Happy Mother's Day."  Instead, with love, I say, "Today, and everyday, I celebrate you as a woman.  You are incredible.  You are amazing.  You are needed, cherished and valued beyond measure."