At different points in their infancies, I've become convinced that each of my boys have seen angels. In our home, we believe those angels are their grandmother, great grandmothers, and sister. I think they lose the ability to see their angels as they grow, but I do know and believe those angels are still there. I know they won't leave my kids.
Noah had horrible colic. HORRIBLE. And reflux. AWFUL reflux. But, there were times he would stop crying just long enough to look over at, what to us was an empty corner, and wave and laugh. As a small infant, he would just stop and smile, sometimes chatter a little bit. But we knew. Someone was there, trying to help us through it. I've always believed it was Shawn's mom; she couldn't be here with us in person, but her spirit wouldn't strand us! As an older child, Noah dreamed of his sister, who we lost before we met.
We had similar experiences with Avery. Overall, he was a happy baby, but there were times he would gaze off to an empty part of a room and just laugh for what appeared to be no real reason. Sometimes he would wave, too.
It's no secret that this last week has been rough. I've tried making a joke about it, aiming for laughter and comic relief, because well, the alternative wouldn't have been helpful. But, having all five of us down at the same time was rough. As we've been getting better, we've tried getting a very resistant Ezra back on schedule, eating better and sleeping in his own crib, rather than his mommy or daddy mattresses. It hasn't been easy. Last night as I wrestled the octopus, trying to rock him to sleep, he stopped screaming long enough to smile, laugh and wave to an empty corner of his room. I watched as he held his shutter out, offering it to whoever was standing there. And I just knew--there stood his grandmother and two great grandmothers, smiling, waving and giving me a hefty supply of back up. Maybe his older sister was even making faces at him.
Even though it may feel like it at times, we're never alone. We're never stranded.
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