Ka-BOOM

I've been wondering if this would happen and today it did.  The other shoe finally dropped.  And it dropped with a loud KA-BOOM.

Today has by far been the most heart-wrenching and difficult throughout all of this.  Our son has been diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome.  So what?  We can do handle this (I say with extreme over-confidence).  We'll read everything there is to learn about it and use it to help him.  We'll make sure Noah gets every therapy available and every service he needs, avoid medication if possible, look into alternative therapies, read studies and try changing his diet.  We're going to make this work for him.  As we found out today though, not everyone is as open-minded as we are.  Including the teachers and head of school at the Christian school we chose specifically for Noah.  I've lost any possible respect I had left for this school after everything else they've already put us through this year.  We received a particularly disheartening email from the head of school today regarding our son:

"You must know that his teachers here continue to be very concerned about the negative impact Noah’s presence has on the classroom learning environment, inadvertent as such impact is on the part of Noah. The teachers report that there is a marked improvement in the learning environment when Noah is absent, as has been the case recently with the testing he has undergone."

To say that I was shocked would be the least of my emotions.  Frustration, disgust, disappointment, anger and extreme hurt also rated the top range of my emotions.   I can't even begin to fathom sending such a letter to a parent.  The desire to immediately drive to my son's school, empty his locker, withdraw him from the school and tell the head of school exactly what he could do with his school (using a few colorful metaphors, of course) on my way out the door was very strong.  I didn't do any of that, but the five minutes I spent waiting on him in the parking lot at pick-up time were the longest five minutes I've ever spent waiting on him at that school ever.  My protective-mommy instincts are in overdrive and I haven't been able to stop crying.  When we moved Noah from public school to this school, we promised him this was a good school and that he would be safe here.  We made a point to choose a Christian private school rather than a secular private school.  We promised him he'd be loved, that he'd learn about God and be with other Christians.  We told him that because it's a Christian school, teachers would be quick to put an end to teasing and even worse things like bullying.  And now we're being told that our son is a negative impact on this Christian school that we promised him was safe.  He is anything but safe at school, once again, because not only are the teachers singling him out, but in doing so, are encouraging the students to do so (and they do).  Yes, it is most likely unintentional, but they are setting the example for the students and making a target out of our child.  It's a shame to me that this school isn't up the challenge of our son, who is anything but a cookie-cutter student (and most definitely one of the smartest students they currently have).  I took this excerpt from a friend's response to the head of school's email and my disappointment:


"From the youngest preschool student to the graduating ninth grader, our students demonstrate our core values: enthusiasm for learning, personal excellence, responsibility, integrity, respect, and compassion. Our teachers' love of learning and commitment to our community inspires students to find success in the classroom and beyond. "
Ok, so i took that from the schools front page of their website.  I guess those things are true, only if it is easy and regular.  And with it being a Christian environment you would think that they would have a better idea of what it means helping those who may need it more, being loving and compassionate, and not turning someone away because they don't fit in with the norm. "

It seems to me that someone at the school forgot their Christian morals somewhere between his brain and fingertips hitting the keyboard (did I mention the head of school is a former priest?).  Shawn and I were reminded of a line from the movie The Blindside.  The coach tells the board that if they are going to deny a student based on his low IQ and non-existent school records, they might as well paint over the word "Christian" in their school name because they aren't taking it seriously.  That's how we're feeling about Noah's school right now.  It's not about what's best for Noah, it's about their bottom line and their bottom line is that our son is not what's best for their school.  I'm so angry I could just spit.

MY bottom line is that Noah is MY CHILD.  He is NOT 'a negative impact.'  One of these days,  he is going to rock this world and this world won't know what hit it.

Noah is not Asperger's Syndrome, he has Asperger's Syndrome.  And this world needs to get over it and get used to it.  Grrr.