Gray Hairs

We had to see a pediatric cardiologist today.  Two weeks ago, the OB I saw that day dismissed E's irregular heartbeat as an anomaly.  We heard it again yesterday, so off we went to a specialist today for an echocardiogram.  This has been a nerve-wracking 24 hours for us.

When I was talking to E this morning, I remarked that he is younger than his brothers were when they saw their first specialists.  I told Shawn this really isn't an accolade I want to encourage, but here we are.  Sorry, I need to joke, otherwise I will revert back to puddle form.

Hearing my unborn child's heart skip and stop is one of the scariest things I've ever heard as a mom.  Seeing it today on the sonogram screen was even scarier.

We had an amazing doctor who was incredibly thorough, and spent more than the originally allotted hour with us.  She did the sonogram herself, which was reassuring.  She was able to talk with us about what she was seeing, and she knew what she needed, and wanted, to look for.  Rather than waiting for it all to be done by a sonographer, printed out, and read by the doctor, we were able to have it all there at once.  We were able to ask questions and have everything clarified right then and there.  Something I found even more reassuring is that she herself is also pregnant.  I felt she was able to relate to us and what we are going through as expectant parents.  She was also kind and warm, which is something I personally relate to better in a doctor.  She asked his name, and referred to him by it while nudging him around for better views.  It was obvious that he is a person with a name to her, already a patient of hers to be taken care of.  If she had referred to E as a fetus, I most likely would've requested another doctor.

The good news is E's heart is fine structurally.  There isn't any fluid around his heart, in his lungs, or anywhere else it shouldn't be.  He is still active (giving the doctor trouble the entire time she tried to look him over, rolling, kicking the transducer, and proudly displaying his boy parts), and not showing any signs of stress or distress.  His heart rate is at a good rate, and there aren't any visible reasons for the arrhythmia.  It is also good news that this did not show up sooner; the later in pregnancy it presents itself, the less indicative it is of a major problem.  Our doctor told us this isn't too unusual, often goes away on its own, and often there are no clear answers as to the why and how. As of right now, we are cleared to go full term (no reason to hurry him), deliver at our hospital (currently no reason to whisk him away to a NICU), and good to go with a vaginal delivery.  If my OB decides on an induction due to my L&D history, that should also be okay.  There isn't anything we can, or should, be doing differently right now.

The scary news is--there's no visible reason for the arrhythmia.  It's very distinct, and very consistent, every three heartbeats.  The problem appears to be with the lower two chambers of his heart, as he is having PVCs; again though, there is no structural abnormality there, his heart is 'merely' misfiring.  We will return next week for another echo, just to be sure everything is still the same as it is this week before we start solidifying delivery 'plans' (after Avery, I use that word loosely) with my OB. Whether I need to return for another one before delivery is still up in the air.  E will need an EKG at the hospital when he's born, and he will have to see his cardiologist once we're home from the hospital.  We will go from there.

In all of this, I'm grateful.  There are no structural abnormalities.  Technically, he's fine.  According to our doctor (I'm doing my best to stay away from Google), this is something he will most likely outgrow.  It's scary as hell, but God is with us.  He formed E and He brought him to us, answering our prayers--He will get us through this.  God has provided not just His reassurance, but a group of amazing friends and prayer warriors who have stood with us in this.  E is not alone, and neither are we.