Pearls

There I was, sitting next to a very pregnant mom at the library today.  She had a young four or five year old boy with her.  As we oohed and aahhhed at the wild animal program with our children, it really was laid on my heart to say something encouraging to her.

As the program ended, I turned to her and told her I don't really have any words of wisdom, but I just wanted to encourage her.  Going from one to two is a difficult transition, but it's a worthy one.  I commented that she is obviously already doing a great job with her older son.  She smiled and thanked me (I'm turning into one of those nice old ladies! Next I will be patting young mothers on their hands, saying "There, there.  One day you're going to miss this!"), and we went our separate ways.

When the boys and I got home, I resumed my chores, heading upstairs to do the laundry, tripping over toys and panicking at the plastic poo in the hallway.  As I pulled the sheets out of the dryer, I realized there was something that looked like lipstick all over them.  Weird.  I don't keep lipstick in my pockets. Spots.  Everywhere.  All over four sets of sheets.  As I pulled out the final sheet, a crayon fell out.  Bright.  Red.  Crayon.  Everywhere.  Spots.

I wanted to yell.  Sheets, ruined.  How could my kids be so careless?  I shook my head, wondering at the lack of wisdom I shared with the other mom just moments earlier.

Then I checked for news about the little girl we've been praying for, and suddenly spotted sheets weren't such a big deal anymore.

Tonight, I get to hugs my kids a little tighter and a little longer, as long and as tight as they'll let me.  I get to tuck my kids in. I don't have to make life-or-death decisions, and I don't have to wait until someone else does, either.  I get to hear them talk endlessly, I get to hear their giggles and watch their eyes light up as they smile.

I can't take the devastation, anger, frustration and just immense, overall defeat I feel right now.  Yes, in the infinite wisdom of little old ladies everywhere, I will miss these moments with my children immensely.  But for now, I do get to hug my boys and remind them how much I love them.