Is There Room For One More?

I did it.  I jumped on the No More Homework Bandwagon.

I am in the process of writing the "Dear Teachers, We respectfully decline..." letter to Avery's teachers.

Please understand, I am not a rude parent.  I do not mean any disrespect to Avery's teachers, and I am not teaching him to disrespect his teachers either. I am the parent who has always, ALWAYS backed the teacher up, whether I agreed or not, because in the school, the teacher is the authority.  I have wrestled with this decision.  I understand the purpose of homework.  I have ridden the fence concerning this since the beginning of the school year.  I've read through the research of homework vs. no homework.  I've watched my child and wrestled with what I know and feel in my gut is absolutely best for him, and what the public school system requires from him.

Honestly, though?  I wish I had done this sooner--about ten years sooner, when Noah was in kindergarten.

I wish I had stood up for both of my non-traditionally learning children sooner.  Homework has always been a fight in our house.  Fifteen minutes, yeah, sure, whatever.  Try 2-3 hours of yelling, crying, begging and finally, just giving up.  It's never been pretty.  It's always been a stress on our relationships with our children, and on our marriage. There have been afternoons I've given up, and waited until Shawn got home from work so he could deal with it.  If we thought the boys were tired when they got home, they were/are definitely tired at that point.  Homework has always been a horrible stress on our children.  It's too much to ask of them at the end of a day of sitting for 6 hours, especially at Avery's age, and with his diagnosis.

There has to be a give.  Home has to be a safe place for my children.  It has to be the place where they can let it all hang out, relax and not be stressed.  It has to be a place where, after having to sit still for 6 hours in school, he knows he won't have to sit still for another 2 hours for homework.  I am standing up for my child.  I know Avery best, and I know this is not a healthy way for him to learn, or to live.

This does not make me a lazy parent. This is not a cop-out, Avery is not getting away with anything. Shawn is working with Avery on programming and coding, something he loves and excels with.  Avery is still working on Reflex Math, a school supported computer program he does here at home.  I am still reinforcing his weekly vocabulary and handwriting through sentence writing, which is something he enjoys.   We've also recently discovered he loves madlibs and has a great time with those (and doesn't know he's practicing handwriting and spelling with those!), and he loves to sit down and make up homework for himself to do when I'm working on mine. Avery loves to read, and when he's not forced to do so, it's the first thing he does when he gets home, and he will read for 30 minutes or more, uninterrupted, on his own.  He also loves to read to Ezra, which has become a wonderful bonding experience for both of them (as opposed to the stress imposed on all of us by homework).

Last week was my experiment week. Without homework our afternoons and evenings were calmer.  Our relationship was easier and less stressed.   Our home, overall, was calmer, and believe it or not, more structured.  Avery was calmer, less anxious,
and less wired.  He was happier and livelier.  That's all the research this mama needs.