On the Edge of My Seat in Anticipation of God

In the past, when things haven't worked out according to my plans, I've gotten angry... At God, at my children, at my husband, at life in general, at myself.  I've shaken my fist at the unfairness of things I wasn't been able to do.

I chose to look at things (and people) as roadblocks, rather than God saying "Not yet," or "I've got better things in store for you."  God forgive me, I was angry at my husband for being able to do things whenever he wanted to do them without having to take the children into consideration, and I allowed it to make me a bitter wife.  Even worse, I allowed these feelings to make me a bitter mother toward my children-- my children I had prayed so hard for.  I was angry at God for telling me "no" to these things I wanted to do so badly, rather than understanding He was telling me no for my own good, as my Abba.  They weren't HIS plans for me.

I have since sought forgiveness for my behavior, and I'm living a different, more grateful path. 

Then I heard something on the radio yesterday from Lysa Terkeurst about living in expectation that made me rethink my attitude again. After a firm 'no' from God about something she wanted to do, instead of being disappointed, her friend circled the dates on her calendar and lived in expectation of what God was going to do in her life during that time!

WOW!

It hit me as I was driving.  During those times, I lived in so much anger, bitterness and disappointment that had God done something amazing, and I'm sure He did, I completely missed it.  

I don't want to live that way.  I want to live in EXPECTATION of God's work, not just gratitude!  I want to live in EXPECTATION of what He's going to do next!

Next time He says no, I will circle those dates, and live in anticipation, I will live in EXPECTATION of God's work!  

I want to literally be on the edge of my seat, just waiting to see what He's going to do next.