It Takes a Village

I'm not trying to address politics here, so please excuse me for just a moment while I divulge a small tidbit about myself: I do wholeheartedly believe it takes a village to raise a child.  Now, that is most likely the only time you will find me agreeing with a democrat or liberal!  Please don't tell my husband.....

This has been a topic I've given a lot of thought to over the past year.  My kids have huge villages, and in turn, I am blessed to be part of several villages.  My friends and I joke that we are all helping each other raise village idiots (don't worry, there are plenty of times when we join in the idiocy).  Our kids are lucky enough to have three moms and two dads.  Of course, with so many eyes keeping watch on them, they aren't too sure just how lucky they are right now!  But some day, when they have kids of their own, they will remember us and appreciate everything we did for them.  At least, that's our hope!

I got thinking more about it yesterday after Avery and I were asked to "just happen to be there" when a friend's son had his first date.  She had to work, I don't.  If she couldn't be there, at least I could be there to spy, take pictures and make notes!  If the tables were turned, I would want her to do the same for my kids, and she would.  Even if she could have been there, I would have been there anyway; after all, any potential girl/boyfriends must pass everyone's approval!  Poor, unsuspecting potentials!

The topic crossed my mind even more today, Noah's eleventh birthday, as the texts, emails and phone calls poured in to wish him a happy day.  We had so many happy wishes for him, and I didn't realize that some of our friends even knew it was his birthday.

Both of my best friends are single moms.  Shawn and I have the privilege of "substituting" with their kids quite often, and it's a responsibility we take seriously.  Likewise, our friends frequently substitute with our kids, too.  Each time we swap children, each time I feed another one, each time we get together, I smile to myself, thinking, "This is how it's supposed to be.  This is God's purpose for us."  We all pick up where the other leaves off (not that any of us are neglecting our duties). We support and encourage each other.  We bounce parenting ideas and problems off each other, always getting a different perspective that might be better than our own. And there's also quite a bit of picking up and dusting off that goes on when one of us is having a particularly bad day!  We're content, we're happy, we belong.

Thankfully, my kids' villages go beyond my two best friends and the boyfriend of one (hence, three moms and two dads!).  While they are our closest village, my boys have many more in a more extended village.  Avery has his wonderful daycare teachers, my oldest niece and her boyfriend, and church nursery teachers.  Noah has his counselor, my oldest niece and her boyfriend, his horseback riding instructor, Boy Scout leaders and his wonderful Sunday school teachers.  And of course, both boys have GOD in their villages, along with all the people who pray for them daily and my fellow volunteers I work with at the center.

These villagers are people I trust implicitly with my children.  I trust them to discipline my children with love when necessary, to love on them and guide them, and to speak Truth into their lives.  I know they will not utter a harsh word to or against my children, and that they love these boys almost as much as I do.  Each villager has a specific place, filling a specific, much-needed role in their lives.  They are helping us mold our boys into the young men they will all-too-soon become.   Each of these special people is able to see Noah and Avery for who they really are at their cores.  They understand my children's gifts, see them for their inner beauty and are helping foster their unique personalities.  Each villager is a true gift to our family.

Tonight, I was filling out fourteen pages of paperwork for Noah's upcoming appointment with a new psychiatrist.  One of the sections was for influential family members who don't live in the home.  After I filled that section out and reread it, I was breathless for a moment.  Only one of those people on that list was true family; everyone else on that list is part of Noah's village.  What really took my breath away though, was that I ran out of room while writing down names and the roles they play in Noah's life.

Tearfully, I am so grateful for each and every single person involved in the lives of our boys.  Goodness knows, we cannot raise these boys alone and we need all the help, support, encouragement and prayers we can get.  It is an amazing feeling to not just have a village for my children, but to be part of several villages for other children.  It is an amazing feeling to know that my children are loved and cared for, well beyond what Shawn and I give them.  Our cups runneth over.