Noah turned 11 a few weeks ago, so we celebrated at his favorite restaurant, Outback, with his favorite meal, steak. Originally, he won my heart over (again!) by telling me that he wanted my cooking for his birthday, because nothing can compare to it. When Shawn asked him if he was sure he didn't want to go out for his birthday, he replied with "Well, we haven't eaten at Outback in a while..." Sly dog! He ordered a 6 oz steak, salad and a loaded baked potato, which, much to our surprise, he inhaled, then looked around, trying to figure out what else he could eat! We had the wait staff sing to him and bring a sundae out to him, which he also inhaled! He asked for a hand-held GPS for camping and hiking, so we've agreed to match him dollar for dollar so he can have a nice one.We met with the new psychiatrist about three weeks ago. We went back after our initial meeting for our first prescription: Ritalin SR. Honestly, that one was more than a little scary. Noah became extremely manic and it scared all of us. He literally just could not stop; couldn't stop moving, couldn't stop talking, just could not stop himself. I realized at lunch that he was more anxious, more hyper, more talkative and sincerely could not control any of it. I felt awful for my son! We gave it two days, then called the psychiatrist back and threw away the pills! Her office manager was so helpful in relaying our message to her, then called back with a cancellation he'd saved for us. We were able to see her the very next day and we have something new to try: Focalin! We are starting at a much smaller dose, which is half the normal starting dose. The Ritalin we tried was a sustained release formula, so it would have gotten him through until about the end of the school day. This Focalin is even shorter acting, so it will only get him through until about lunch. If he does well with it and we are able to stick with it, we'll eventually add a dose at lunch and another one when he gets home from school, if necessary. So far, he's done well with it. He told me that he felt calmer yesterday. His teacher took the time to report to me earlier today that he seems a little more focused and less distracted. He is still struggling with his issues, but she seemed to feel a little less than usual. Yay! Wouldn't it be so great if we're lucky enough to have hit the nail on the head with only the second medication trial???? I had to laugh when, on the way there, Noah looked up from his book and asked if we'd ever been on that road before. Ummm.... Only every other week! Welcome to Noah's world, where the same trip is never actually the same!
Last week, I met with the guidance counselor and SPED chair/director at the middle school Noah will be going to next year. I have to tell you, first impressions are a lot to me, and these two women made fabulous first impressions with me. They both seem to walk that fine line between nurturing yet holding high expectations of good discipline personality type that Noah does so well with. They were both more than helpful and gave me plenty of information. Overall, I have to say I was impressed with the school. Avery had "just a bit" of a temper tantrum, slamming the office door shut hard enough to shake the entire school, but even the principal took it in stride, telling Avery there are days they want to do that too! Whew! The atmosphere in that school is completely different from what I've experienced with the elementary school Noah is enrolled in. I have to say, with all the struggles I've had with the elementary school, it was refreshing to go in and not feel like I was being given the run-around. Everyone I spoke with was knowledgable, helpful and understanding. They all understand what I was asking for and knew what my next steps need to be. Unfortunately, the next steps bring me back to the elementary school. It all has to begin there in order for the transition to middle school to go smoothly. I'll be honest: I've never been thrilled with the administration at the elementary school. My experiences have been less than favorable. I've never gotten along with either the principal or the assistant principal and I've never felt that either of them are there in the best interest of the students. This is where my struggle with getting Noah the help he deserves will be. This will be the biggest hurdle. I already feel the assistant principal is resisting the entire issue of an IEP for Noah. Academically, he's beyond what is considered benchmark, so in that aspect, he doesn't qualify for one. Asperger and ADHD don't technically qualify as learning disabilities. It sounds as though I will really have to push for this. The women I spoke with at the middle school both offered their assistance as part of Noah's team, but I've been told by the elementary school that they can't be included yet. Several things have to happen before Noah can be considered for an IEP, and the first of those is the meeting scheduled for Wednesday at which I will make the formal request for an evaluation. It feels as though the assistant principal is already resisting this, saying the team may not agree to an evaluation because Noah's grades are not in danger. Now, legally, Noah is protected under Virginia state laws that protect and mandate services for children on the spectrum. However, there are so many loopholes to that law, beginning with the school deciding whether Noah is on the spectrum or not. It doesn't seem to matter that I have documentation from three medical professionals, all in agreement of Noah's diagnoses. This is already so frustrating for me, so overwhelming and just plain ridiculous! My concern is my son, and making sure he receives everything he deserves and needs.
In other news, Noah went on a 13 mile bike ride with Shawn on Saturday! He had a great sense of accomplishment when he was finished and slept well that night! Shawn and I both had some concerns for Noah's safety, as they were on a few main roads here and there. In the past, Noah has forgotten road rules and hasn't been the safest, forgetting to keep to the side of the road and things like that. Noah is often not very aware of his surroundings, so that is a great concern for his safety. However, Shawn said he listened, followed the rules and did quite well! We were all so proud of him. It was good to see him set a goal and exceed it. Originally, he was only going to do half that, but found that once he kept peddling, it was easy to just keep going! I think he and Shawn are hoping to make this part of their weekend routine. I'm all for it!
We started horseback riding again last week, also. The horses needed a bit of a break, so it's been two months since he last rode. He and Justin (his current favorite horse) met up in the paddock, Noah got on him and it was as if they'd never been apart! Those two missed each other, but they didn't miss a beat once they were back together. He really knew what he was doing. Noah was so confident, so focused, so calm. He seems to have a freedom with Justin that he doesn't feel anywhere else. When Justin kicks up his heels and takes off a little faster than Noah intends, Noah doesn't panic like we see so often with other things. He keeps his cool, is able to remember what his instructor has told him and he reigns Justin back in. It's just awesome to watch Noah and it was so wonderful to see him smile like that. I just love it! His instructor told him what I've felt for a while: Noah is a natural with the horses. There were two other students riding with another instructor that afternoon, so the three of them organized relay races, follow the leader and a few other games. Much to her rider's dismay, Charm wasn't too into the games that night! Have you ever seen a frustrated rider try to get his stubborn horse to obey when she doesn't want to?! I love those horses so much and I'm so grateful to them for all they do. I was teasing a friend of mine that her "hippie-ness" has worn off on me, as I stand at the fence rails sending out my love and gratefulness vibes to the horses during Noah's lessons. I gave Justin a hug and kiss afterwards and Noah called me a tree hugger! I told him I'm not a tree hugger, I'm a horse hugger! I really can't say enough good things about this program and what it's done for Noah. We owe so much to these horses, volunteers, instructors and everyone else who works with them.
One more thing I have to share with you, just because it gave me pause at first, but now I'm laughing. Noah has been singing "What Do You Do With a Drunken Sailor." Ummm, excuse me??? I was a little shocked that my fifth grader was singing such a song, as the title led me to believe it is hugely inappropriate for his age. Even worse, Avery has been belting it out also, usually in the grocery store, and of course, at church yesterday! Noah couldn't remember all the lyrics or the reason for the song, so I looked up his music teacher's email address and was even more shocked when I realized who she is. My mother used to work with her husband and I remember when their children were born. They are also a Christian family, so it really had me wondering what on earth this woman was thinking with this song. I sent her an email stating my concerns and asked her to give me a call so we could talk about it, which she did not even an hour after I sent the email. The rest of the lyrics aren't so bad; it does have historical significance as a sea chanty and, in spite of its title, it was actually a song that was sung to warn the sailors about the downfalls of drinking on the job, or showing up to work drunk. I'll be going over that with Noah again, and crossing my fingers that we can teach Avery the rest of the lyrics!
Such is life in left field!
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