Manners

Warning:  This is a rant.  Yep.  A rant about manners.  They aren't that hard to use, people.

In raising boys, one of my goals is to raise gentlemen.  Boys turning into men who open doors, remember their manners, are polite to others, complimentary, and courteous.

I will tell you--it's really hard when they aren't encouraged by others.  It makes my job that much more difficult.  They start wondering why they should bother.   Should my children always expect a turnaround from the receiving person?  No, but how hard is a smile and a quick, "Thanks"?

One of my pet peeves is people who can't be bothered to thank my children when they hold doors open. I've watched entire families walk through the door, entire groups, as I wait on my child, and not one single person so much as glanced at him.  On occasion, I've been known to call out "You're welcome!  Have a fantastic day!"  I may or may not mutter something else under my breath after that.  I have thanked the people who do thank my children, explaining that it encourages them to continue the good, polite behavior.

Avery is pleased with himself when he holds a door open.  He knows he's doing something right, and something nice.  He knows he's being a gentleman, he likes doing it, and it makes him happy.  I've taught him to wish the person a good day, and smile.  In some cases, I've watched as my children run ahead of a person just to open the door.  They've also recently been racing each other to see who can get there first.  Only my kids could turn manners into a contest.  *sigh*  Please don't knock down the little old lady, boys....

When my children are polite enough to help you, when any child is polite enough to help you, please don't ignore that child's efforts.  They are young and impressionable, and they need our encouragement. Their parents are working hard to raise good children.  Please encourage them, please thank them, please engage them in a short, quick conversation. This helps develop language and social skills, and lets them know they're on the right track.  You know what?  Maybe you could also encourage that child's parents.  We need to hear more of that, just as much as our children do!

If you aren't encouraging these future adults, you are discouraging them.  And, if you are discouraging them, please don't complain about 'kids today.'  In that respect, you are part of the problem, not the solution.

Thank you.