Parenthood: Life Unscripted

I'm a planner.  I'm a prepper.  I don't like surprises. I like to know what to expect.  I don't do well when things don't go according to plan--my plan.  My education in parenthood, and the unplanned, unscripted life of parenthood, began almost sixteen years ago when I found out I was pregnant with Noah.  I quickly learned that nothing goes according to plan, starting right there with conception.  

We all have big ideas, big plans, big dreams for our children.  We envision the paths we'd like them to take.  We want better for our child than what we had.  With that first blue line, we start making plans.  Sometimes, before that baby is even more than a twinkle in his daddy's eye, we're making plans and dreaming dreams. Perhaps the blue line was unexpected, and the dreaming and planning begin there.

And, then we meet our child... Our child with his own dreams, his own plans, his own ideas--and, his own opinions.  His own way of doing things.  His own life to live.  He arrives with his own personality, and his own version of your genetics.  He is his own person, and not always the way we had imagined.  We realign our own visions for this child so that ours match his.

This is, of course, our goal as parents, as bittersweet as it may be: To raise them well, and release them into the world when it's time, whether it's according to our plans, their plans, or a combination of both.  As they grow and mature, it no longer becomes our job to say no to something or to sway their decisions, but instead to guide them, and trust them to make the adult decisions we've raised them to make.  The lengthening of the apron strings is a painful process, sometimes more for us than for them. We coach them, cheer them, support them and love them through milestone after milestone.  One day, they're infants, then we blink and they're headed out the door to start the next chapter of their lives.  How does that happen?  Where does the time go? It's a difficult, shocking moment when we realize the child we've raised is no longer such a child, and is becoming capable of making such adult decisions.

This is part of the unscripted life of parenthood.  Our kids don't always go according to plan, and that's okay. Their plans don't always go according to our plans either, and that's okay too.  What matters, in the end, is that they know they are loved, and we know they are free to do what we've been preparing them for all along, no matter what that may be.