An Open Letter to My Newest Follower: You are a Brave Young Woman

Hi,
I was going to message you on your blog, but I thought there still might be others out there who need to hear this message you and I are sharing.  You are sharing it from the victim's standpoint, I am sharing it from the mother of a victim's standpoint.  Can you tell me please, what is a better term than victim?  Survivor, maybe?  You sound like a survivor to me.  I hope this is okay, I've kind of called you out, without really calling you out.  Maybe another mom or another young person will pick something out of this blog, or follow mine to yours and seek help.  I hope I don't embarrass you, that is not my intent.

First, I want you to know how much I admire you.  You have humbled me and touched my heart.  I'm just a mom on the front lines, but you, you are really on the front lines.  I read your blogs, and yes, you do have quite a bit to say!  I have a feeling you are wise beyond your years.  I am so glad you talked to your mom about what happened to you.  So many young people don't.  I fear what would have happened if Noah hadn't told me and my husband about his problems at school.  With his Asperger's, we're lucky he did.  Even better, I'm so glad she listened to you and believed you.  It's obvious she loves you and wants what is best for you. She even went so far as to move you to a new house, something we were never able to do for our son,  not for our lack of trying.  I still can't send him outside in his own backyard to play without wondering what will happen, so either myself or my husband have to go out with him (and his brother) to keep guard because the bullies live right next door.  He is seldom able to ride his bike in the street, where they dominate, and he can't even walk to my niece's house, which is right around the corner.  We know of other families who have had problems with this family, but no one will stand up to them because of everything that happened to our family when we tried.

Noah's bullying began in kindergarten, almost right away, and the things I could tell you would make your toes curl.  He would get in the car crying every afternoon (at school), refuse to get out of the car in the morning.  The school was no help, the police were no help (the parents were/are part of the problem).  Because the school refused to acknowledge the problem we couldn't move him to another school within the county.  We put our house on the market and began building another house in another county, which allowed us to move Noah to another school in that county.  Unfortunately, our house never sold and we had to move him back.  It was the most difficult day of my life.  We finally moved him to a private school, but after his Asperger's diagnosis, we began homeschooling him.  That was the easiest decision of my life!  :)

I'm sure you've been through the ringer, too.  I tell Noah that God has big plans for him.  Noah is a very sensitive child and wears his heart on his sleeve.  He's going to come out stronger because of all of this and somewhere, somehow, he's going to touch someone's life and make a difference.  Even if he doesn't know it, he will.  I noticed in your blog that your mom said something similar to you as well.  I do believe you are already stronger!  I don't know what the bullies said to you and I don't need to know.  You've already made a difference in one other young lady's life and only God Himself knows how many other young people you've touched with your blogs and videos.  You sound like a smart young woman. You are light years beyond the bullies and even though I don't have the right to be, I'm proud of you for that.  I'm proud of you for being bigger than them.  I'm proud of you not caving to their taunts and awful ways.  Their bullying shows their immaturity; you being able to move on, you being able to help others: That shows your maturity and level-headedness.  That, my dear, shows your awesomeness!

My own faith runs deep and I know that's what gets us through each day.  One day, some day, somehow, justice will be served on Noah's bullies.  I know his bullies need help; they need love, compassion and attention, too.  It helps me understand them a little better, but it doesn't excuse their continued behavior.  Calling the police or social services is not the answer, even though to some people it may sound like it would be.  For us, it would only make matters worse; in our neighborhood, it would be obvious who called them and retaliation is always a worry for us.  When Noah was in school and we tried that tactic, the next day at school was always the worst for him.

We parents do our best to teach our children to be individuals; as, you said, being "you is okay," but then that is why most children are bullied.  So many schools are now giving children diversity training.  My first thought to that was, "Great, let's highlight what's different and make it the problem worse!"  We're trying to teach Noah, because he is different, that it's okay to be different, that it's okay to be himself.  It makes me sad when I see young people who think they need to conform to to society.  I delight in what makes us all individuals and it makes me happy when I see people celebrating that in themselves.  You are correct in your blog, God absolutely does not make mistakes, so why do so many of us humans think He does?  I had a pin that says, "God Don't Make Junk."  It was given to me as a teenager.  I carried it for years in my purse, gave it to Noah at one point, then we displayed it proudly as a family on our kitchen bulletin board until we passed it on to a friend going through a difficult time.

I'm so happy that you are able to smile with all of your heart, after everything you have been through and that you are able to be you.  You are so correct: words do hurt, but words can also heal.

So, here is to those healing words, dear, wise, young lady.  I pray the best for you at your new you school, with your friends, in your home, in your town.  Know that others out there are praying for you, wanting the best for you and others who are being bullied.  There are parents who care and we really are trying to do what we can to make this world a safer place for our children.  And, there are quite obviously young people like you who are doing the same.  My hat is off to you.  Keep up the good, encouraging work.  :)

PS:  Keep talking to your mom.  Don't let that line of communication die, okay?  Even if it's just two words a day, keep talking to her.  She loves you.