A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Starbucks

I am a Starbucks addict.  I don't drink alcohol, I've never smoked and I've never done drugs.  I do Starbucks.  Yes, I know it's not something to be proud of.  Don't be silly!  The funny thing is, I can't stand coffee (although I do love the smell), but you should be careful if you sit down with me intending to drink your own venti non-fat, no-water, chai with whip.    You better hope you have cat-like reflexes if you put it on the table in front of me.

If you aren't from New England, then you don't know that you can't find a Starbucks A-N-Y-W-H-E-R-E.  You can't walk three feet without walking smack into a Dunkin' Donuts, but Starbucks is just about unheard of.  In fact, they make an effort to talk badly about Starbucks up there.  For me, Dunkin's chai just doesn't measure up.

We hit one of the very last Starbucks on our northern travels about 5 minutes after they closed.  I am not arrogant, rude or inconsiderate enough (desperate, yes) to bang on the door and demand (beg, yes) they open long enough to make my overpriced latte for me.  Instead, I did what every normal, desperate person would do:  I cried (remember our traveling circumstances; you would have cried over missing out on your latte, too!).  Anyway, those two weeks in Maine without my caffeine crutch were LONG.  My dear husband did the best he could with what he found in the grocery store (I love him), but it just wasn't the same.

So, on our way home, when we hit one of those tourist service centers, one of those places that have several different types of eateries and gas stations in a one-stop type center, I spied a STARBUCKS, and life was back on track!  WOO HOO!!!!  I crawled up to the cash register as one would to an oasis in a desert and blurted out, "I haven't seen you in two weeks!  I need a----" and my poor, exhausted brain conked out on me.  In all of my excitement, I'd completely forgotten what I always order!  Fortunately, my trusty backseat driver was with me!  Noah started jumping up and down, shouting, "I KNOW THIS!  I KNOW THIS!  She needs a venti non-fat, no-water chai with whip!  Yes!  All those years of sitting in the backseat have FINALLY paid off!"  We "woo-hoo"'ed, high-fived and did a little dance, probably looking like a couple of idiots--but we did it in true mom-son fashion!  Fortunately, the cashier, a very nice lady my mother's age, laughed with us (she was laughing with us, not at us, right???) and made the perfect latte to end my two week break.

The really funny thing?  When she asked where I'd been for two weeks, I learned that I actually live about 30 mins from her son in my state (and she lives about two hours from my mom in their state).   Small world!  Even funnier, her son tells her not to pronounce the name of my southern county with her New England accent because it sounds like she's being rude (y'all know what I'm talking about, don't you?!)!  HA!