The Original Miracle Man: What it Takes to Be a Grandfather

I wrote this post several days ago and was putting off posting it because I wanted a good, current picture of the five of us to post at the end of this.  Unfortunately, my grandfather wasn't feeling well the day we left and asked us to not come by, so I'm using a picture from last year.  He didn't want us to see him that way.  I wanted to respect his wishes; when you reach the age of 90, sometimes all you have left is your dignity.  I didn't want to take that away from him.  It was upsetting to not get to say one more good-bye, but I did leave a note for him.  Please continue to keep him in your prayers.

Denny is my grandfather on my mother's side.  He is neither biological nor legal, but he is family just the same.  He was a gift from God to our family 25 years ago after my grandfather died.  We are so blessed by him.  He and my grandmother never married, have never lived under the same roof, have always had a very proper relationship, have always been very loving.  Denny accepted me as his granddaughter from the beginning, accepted Shawn as his grandson-in-law, and has loved our sons as his own great-grandsons.  He has mentored us and treated us with respect and love.   He's been good to us. I couldn't love this man or respect him more than I do.  He means the world to me.


A week and a half ago we got the call that Denny might not make it.  He had been sick for several weeks; I had been hoping and praying I wouldn't get this phone call.  We needed to head north to say our goodbyes.  Shawn helped me throw clothes and whatever else we could think of into suitcases, made arrangements for the pets, the house and his job, then made the 14 hour trip overnight.  When we hit the Maine state line, Mom told us to head straight to the hospital, that things were looking worse.  Our GPS said we had 2 hours until we reached our destination.  Worried we wouldn't make it in time, Shawn grabbed my hand, we said a quick prayer.   Shawn told me, "Don't worry, just hang on, I'll get you there in time."  The rest of the way I prayed silently:  "Peace and strength, peace and strength, peace and strength."  Barely over an hour later, we pulled into the hospital parking lot.  I don't know how many laws we broke to get there in that time or how we made it without anyone seeing us break those laws.  Hardly waiting for the car to stop, I raced into the hospital looking for room 42. When I couldn't find it, I collapsed into a panicked puddle where a nurse found me, put her arm around me, told me to take a deep breath, asked what room I needed, then gently guided me there.  I am so grateful for her kindness, for just knowing what I needed and making sure I got there.  When I saw Denny, I knew what my mom said must be true:  this was goodbye.  God gave me the strength I needed not to cry in front of my grandmother and grandfather.  All the way to Maine, I was angry at God for taking my grandfather from me.  Upon seeing my grandfather, I was angry at Him for allowing my grandfather to suffer the way he was.  I laid my hand on Denny and asked God to please release him from the suffering.  Denny opened his eyes, smiled at me and croaked, "Where'd you come from?"  I laughed and said, "Virginia!"  Shawn soon piled into the room with our boys and Denny's eyes lit up a little more when he saw them.  As awful as he looked and obviously felt, it was apparent he was glad to see us.  The rest of our extended family all filed into the hospital room, all of us worried this was the final goodbye, but trying not to show it.  Leaving the hospital that morning was one of the most difficult things I've done.  We went back to Mom's house and waited for 'the' phone call.  Gratefully, it did not come.  


The next day, we went back to visit again, taking our prayer oil with us.  Shawn and I had already decided that Shawn would anoint Denny because we knew I wouldn't have the strength to pray without breaking down.  As I pulled it out of my pocket, Noah grabbed it instead, anointed Denny and prayed.  I found the strength from my son to pray after him.  Over the next few days after that, we saw an improvement in Denny's health.  I like to think it wasn't an coincidence.  I know it wasn't.  I know it was God's hand.  Denny still has work left to do here on earth and God saw the love his family has for him.  We've visited him every day we've been up here and I've loved watching the improvements he's made.  I say daily prayers of thanksgiving for my dear grandfather's improving health and that his health will continue to improve.  I asked Shawn if it was too arrogant of us to think our presence and Noah's prayer could be the reason for Denny's improvement.   This past Friday, my grandfather's care was turned over to hospice.  There is really nothing else that can be done for him.  I'm trying to tell myself that I've found peace with that.  Monday, he was transferred back to his nursing home.  Sadly, he is unable to return to his own room at this time and must be in the rehab unit for now because of all the care he currently requires.  Happily, he looks great and his spirits are high!  He really is the original miracle man.


This unplanned trip to say goodbye to my grandfather has led to some good talks for me and Denny.  He has accepted the Lord and says when his time is up, he's made his peace and he's ready to go.  This was a concern for me and now a huge relief.  I wanted to know I will see Denny again and I was trying to figure out how to talk to him about it, but I didn't know how.  He was so sick and I didn't want to upset him.  Fortunately, my grandmother's minister and my aunt took care of it for me! This week he has insisted that I'm an angel, bringing my grandmother by daily to visit him and coming up on such short notice from Virginia to see him (I insist the halo is store-bought and held up by the horns, which it hides!).  I've brought him small servings of the food I've been cooking for my family at my mother's and he's happily gobbled it up!  He's always loved to eat and it's sad for me that I'm just finding my talents in the kitchen now that he's not able to enjoy it.   He looks at me, holding my hand, and smiles, tells me how much he loves me, tells me I'm beautiful.   


I've also been able to tell Denny what has made him my grandfather.  He never gave me extravagant gifts, money, trips or anything like that.  Instead, he gave me unconditional love and acceptance.  He made an effort to get to know me, even when I was a 9 year old brat, insisting he was trying to replace my grandfather.  He gave me memories and fun times.   He has done the same for my husband and my sons. He has always given of himself.

I love you, Denny.  I don't know how much longer we have you, but I'm glad you're sticking around a little while longer.  I'm not ready to give you up yet.  Thank you for fighting the good fight.  Thank you Jesus, for hearing our prayers.